Guys, I really hate New Years.
Ok, wait. Let me rephrase that.
I really hate New Years when there's no change whatsoever that makes it seem new.
I was thinking about this the other day, and it's actually kind of amazing that this is the first New Years (do I really have to capitalize that? Is it that kind of holiday??) in a long time where I have no feelings, good or bad, toward the new year. Transitioning into 2011 was good because my grandpa died in 2010. Transitioning into 2010 was good because my grandma (other side) died in 2009. I mean, the New Years part of it was good because we were getting out of that death year; little did I know it was going to be another one. Wah wah wah. Transitioning into 2009 was a little more depressing, since Grandma was sick, so maybe that wasn't a great New Years? But I had a boyfriend for the first time (yep, I'm totally only 19 years old right now, so it's completely normal that I had a boyfriend for the first time in 2008), so New Years Eve was really exciting that year! And I had just gotten a new job too (which then laid me off a year later and started this whole thing)! So yes, it was exciting! Plus, it's not like I knew she was going to die a week into 2009, so I couldn't have been that upset around New Years. MOVING ON. Into 2008 was a few weeks after I graduated, so that was a big ole New Years. And into 2007 was good because it was my first New Years Eve in Madison. Into 2006 was FANTASTIC because I didn't have braces in college anymore and I literally repeated all New Years Eve, "2006 is going to be my year!" I mean, I don't think it really was all that amazing in the end, but it was an exciting time! Do you want me to keep going???
Also, sidenote, and I am not at all joking about this... I just used Facebook timeline to make sure I wasn't getting years messed up. Seriously. Jesus. It's so embarrassing, so I forced myself to share it. My brain gets muddled sometimes guys. But also, wow, timeline isn't all that horrible. It can confirm when your family members died!
Too depressing with all my dark humor about death? (Alliteration!) Sorry. The good news is, none of my family members died in 2011 (unless you count extended family dogs, I guess. Sorry Hobbes!). So that made it less of a thing I wanted to escape? Which is a good thing? But then I think about things to look forward to in 2012, and I feel like it should be a good year, with travels and family time and seeing lots of friends and "The Book of Mormon" coming to Chicago near the end of the year. But there's just nothing that made me want to jump on a chair and yell "YES! IT'S 2012!!!!!" I mean, I'm totally curious about 12/21/12, just like everyone. But I don't think that's something people are legitimately excited about, enough to shout about it. Well, besides the crazies who will definitely be populating street corners in large forces and screaming at me to find Jesus because I'm going to Hell.
Anyways, the point is, it just doesn't feel like a new year. It feels like I had a break and then I came back to everything exactly as it was. And I can't decide if that's a bad, depressing thing, or actually a good, steady, normal thing.
There is one thing I have decided, though.
2012 is the year I get a new job. A real job. A job that excites me. A job that I work hard at and stay late for, because I want to. A job that starts a career.
And yes, six days into 2012, I have already had a major breakdown about this. Tears, shutting down, self-pitying, frustration with the way the world goes, the works.
I hate applying for jobs. HATE IT.
Here's the thing. I don't look good on paper. I've had a mod podge of jobs, which, when combined, have taught me a crap load about a lot of great and useful things. Like event planning. And recruiting. And administrative tasks. And communication skills. However, when skimmed over on a resume, look like a lost, post-graduate kid who has no direction at all.
So, that's when a cover letter should do the work to show how awesome I am, right!?
Wrong.
I can't write cover letters for a million dollars. (Unless you want to pay me a million dollars to do it.) I'm a creative writer. I like to use big words, and yes, I often find them in a thesaurus because that's how I learn new, impressive words! But I take those thesaurus-ed words and actually use them too, I promise! I am a self-depraving writer. I like to make fun of myself because I think it's more amusing and relateable than talking about how fanfuckingtastic I am. If you're amused by my self-mockery, I'm feeling good about myself. So, does this creative, self-depraving cover letter sound like someone you want to hire to plan your corporate events?
Actually, yes, kind of. But that's the opposite of my point here.
So, yeah, let's just say I wouldn't hire them either. So...because I assume most hiring folks aren't well versed in the world of sarcasm in cover letters, especially when they may not know that person at all and might not realize it's not at all serious, and maybe they think their employees should be serious about the job... I try to write a cover letter that mentions what I have learned and what I can do in relation to what you're looking for. You know, instead of writing something oozing in dark humor about my dead grandparents, because that's just a little too risky. AND SO MY COVER LETTER IS RIDICULOUSLY BORING. Clearly. Cover letters without jokes about knowing when your Grandpa died thanks to Facebook's new timeline profile is just never going to be exciting.
And thus, with a lost-in-life resume and a generic, blah cover letter, I get thrown in the garbage all the time. I have to. And yet, I can't seem to work out how to fix it. Basically, I need someone who thinks I'm awesome to take my cover letter and rewrite it in a way that shows me off more. And then not show that to me, because I'll get really awkward and feel like I'm lying about a lot, and want to take all of that out again.
But seriously, show it to me first, because I'm not sending it off blindly.
The worst part is, I'm really awesome at interviews. And since I just went on about how I'm self-depraving and don't do well talking myself up in writing, you know I'm being honest here. I can read people really well, answer questions honestly and make it clear that I'm what they're looking for (unless I'm not what they're looking for). (Or they're not what I'm looking for, which has been the case way too many times here). I can make my experience seem so much more than what it looks like on paper, unless they legitimately want someone with 10+ years of experience in the industry, which is dumb because that person's totally burnt out. Kidding! Sort of.
So, wait! Does this mean I have not just one but TWO New Years (damn capitalization! Are you really necessary!?) resolutions!?? To get an awesome job in 2012, and to also perfect the art of resume and cover letter writing!? Wow. This was a productive blog post.
And now, I declare before you all, that the job hunt of 2012 is ON. I will be applying, I will be networking, I will be selling myself where I can (NOT sexually...jeeeeeeze, perv, why'd you go there?), and I will turn my no-direction life into a powerful career where I will later win awards that I can place on the mantle a la Cam and Mitch (yes, mine will be the fishing trophy).
Also, this means I'm blogging a lot more too. You're welcome, loyal fans!
Friday, January 6, 2012
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
"You may say that I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one"
Alright, so I mentioned I was silenced at work and then I disappeared from here too. Which is really kind of what I usually do these days. I'll tell you why I'm so crappy at writing, guys. I am in a job huntressing RUT.
All I want is a new job. A job in a specific industry. A job I'd be good at, be valued at, I'd grow at, and I'd work my butt off for because I'd want to.
And yet, finding that job? Not so easy. This isn't something I can successfully apply for and interview for, and just take a few months to make happen. Nonononono. That's how you end up in my current job! This is something I need to network my booty off to make happen. And networking isn't always a speedy process whatsoever. And networking also means blogs that complain about and bash jobs and interviews and companies, no matter how funny or ridiculous the situations were, shouldn't be popping up all over the World Wide Web. However, I will obviously make exceptions when stupid shit happens and I can't keep it to myself.
So, I just kind of let time (SLOWLY) pass. This is the phase of my career I like to call Tolerating. I am simply tolerating where I am at right now, knowing that someday that all will change.
And I seriously need to remind myself sometimes of why I am lucky to be in a position to do that. So, since we just had the lovely American holiday of Thanksgiving this past week, and we only ever want to focus on that holiday as a time to give thanks and not as the historical awkwardness that it really was, AND because I feel like I should point out what makes my life ok before I go on a tangent about how RIDICULOUS the company that currently owns me is sometimes, here are reasons I am thankful I can tolerate my job(s) currently:
1). I have a steady job with steady pay that allows me to live in an expensive city that I just so happen to love.
2). I have health/dental/life benefits with said job.
3). I have an easy commute with a work schedule I am currently very content with (though it might soon change, and not by choice, and you can bet your bottom dollar there will be another post if that happens).
4). I can watch all the Doctor Who I want while I'm at work. You guys! I. am. SO. OBSESSED.
5). My first job allows (well, "allow" meaning the time frame I work during, not exactly a "knowing allowance" by the company) me to have my second job, which, for the most part, keeps me sane.
6). My second job is on the right path toward what I actually want to be doing with my life and is a great stepping stone (or hopefully will be when I look back from my "Happily Ever After" career in the future).
And that is what I am thankful for in my work life at the moment. Yes, it's boring and a little depressing to only see those subjects currently, and not "I feel so challenged" or "I am given so many opportunities to move forward in my career," but, because this is the Tolerating phase, I'll take it for now!
And now on to what I will NOT tolerate.
Here's a little tidbit of information about me. When I get it in my head that something's important to me, I get crazy, seriously passionate about it and then I ABSOLUTELY MUST spread that passion to anyone else who is remotely close to me in any way. This is why Facebook is dangerous for a person like me (as any of my friends who are annoyed with my political posts and links can attest to). And yes, because I run by emotions, it's hard for me, when I'm told I'm wrong about something I'm passionate about, to not take that personally. As I so eloquently put it this past weekend at home when a few friends and I were talking politics and one person said she wanted to learn the facts, I said, "I don't give facts, I only give opinions." And this really is true (so I probably need to stop pretending that I am giving out cold hard facts when it's clearly my opinionated version of the facts).
Anyways, for the past few years I have taken it upon myself to supply red ribbons for those around me who are interested and raise money for an AIDS foundation on World AIDS Day (December 1st). Actually, this really started after I read the play "The Baltimore Waltz" by Paula Vogel in my directing class with Norma in college, and we had big ole discussions on the subject, which just so happened to fall around World AIDS Day that year. So big shoutout to that!
Last year, it was seriously depressing. I didn't really know the people I worked with very well at that point, and when I mentioned my fundraiser to my then manager, I was told it's not really allowed because it's not something that's affiliated with the company (??). So I had to do it all very hush-hush, and it just sort of killed the whole thing. No one really knew about it or felt inclined to participate, and you basically had to be all sneaky about donating any money. I think I ended up donating a lot more on my own than I would have, just because I was embarrassed of how poorly I pulled the whole thing off, so I guess that's probably a good thing in the end. But it was sad to watch it all go down at the time. And yes, obviously, I took that personally. Passion = Personal. (TM that shit!)
However, this year, I have been determined to do it all entirely differently. I'm tech savvy now (hello! I'm blogging guys!) and I know about this fancy thing called PayPal that allows people to donate money when they're not right next to you handing you cash! It's a miracle! So, in order to get the ball rolling, I sent out an email to family and friends, I'm working on a Facebook post about it, and I emailed my coworkers. And because, in the past year, I've received a lot of emails at work about coworkers' personal things, like band performances and catalog sales and the like, I assumed it'd be fine to give brief notice about what I was planning on doing.
NO. IT. WAS. NOT.
Apparently, what I did was very much against policy and now I'm in trouble for it. UUUUGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH. I think it's just a warning about trouble, and not actual trouble with consequences, but still. I cannot believe that what I'm doing by emailing (the coworkers I actually know personally) about this is actually so horrible that I need to receive a warning for my behavior. Seriously? SERIOUSLY? YOU CAN BET I VIEW THIS AS PERSONAL.
And yes, it is reeeeaaallllyyy hard to stop myself from jumping up and screaming "HATE CRIME!!!" at the top of my lungs right now.
Because I know that would be uncalled for and jumping to conclusions and, dare I say, dramatic? And also, well, completely wrong.
All I'm saying, in order to make this okay, everyone else who ever sent out an email about something unrelated to work that involved giving coworkers information about that unrelated-to-work-thing and allowing them to make a decision if they want to partake in it or not better have received that same damn notice as well!!!!!! I realize that yes, what I did was probably against policy. BUT if there's a policy, you cannot only enforce it on occasion! Otherwise, you run into a whole other issue when you only choose to do it in a situation that involved a very stigmatized disease (ie, me making a big ole fuss about discrimination).
In the meantime, I'm still determined to make this year the best year yet for spreading awareness and raising money, even if my place of work wants to spit in the face of anyone who has ever been impacted by the horrible disease that is HIV/AIDS. That wasn't too dramatic, was it? Also, will this blog hold up as evidence in a court of law when I bring about the discrimination case? And don't give me any crap about how I'm already losing that battle since what I did was against the policy that I agreed to follow. Tomato, tomato (yeeeaaah, that doesn't really work in blog form, does it?).
So, if you're my Facebook friend, look for something today or tomorrow about how to donate if you're interested. And if you're a currently in-person friend, and I'm going to see you before Friday afternoon, let me know if you want to donate or would like a red ribbon to wear on Thursday. And if you're my coworker, be real sneaky about everything on Thursday (and I also hope you're not tattling on me to people at work, because I'm not really writing this with the idea that coworkers are reading it unless they share my opinions. So if that's not you, this isn't me writing it and this isn't about your company and you're totally wrong in your assumptions. These aren't the droids you're looking for). And if you're a total stranger, send me a message or comment so that I can get you the info without giving my secret identity away (ha ha) and getting fired for calling my office bigoted and discriminatory. Yay!
Spread the word, people, and let's do our part toward ending the stigma and destroying this disease.
All I want is a new job. A job in a specific industry. A job I'd be good at, be valued at, I'd grow at, and I'd work my butt off for because I'd want to.
And yet, finding that job? Not so easy. This isn't something I can successfully apply for and interview for, and just take a few months to make happen. Nonononono. That's how you end up in my current job! This is something I need to network my booty off to make happen. And networking isn't always a speedy process whatsoever. And networking also means blogs that complain about and bash jobs and interviews and companies, no matter how funny or ridiculous the situations were, shouldn't be popping up all over the World Wide Web. However, I will obviously make exceptions when stupid shit happens and I can't keep it to myself.
So, I just kind of let time (SLOWLY) pass. This is the phase of my career I like to call Tolerating. I am simply tolerating where I am at right now, knowing that someday that all will change.
And I seriously need to remind myself sometimes of why I am lucky to be in a position to do that. So, since we just had the lovely American holiday of Thanksgiving this past week, and we only ever want to focus on that holiday as a time to give thanks and not as the historical awkwardness that it really was, AND because I feel like I should point out what makes my life ok before I go on a tangent about how RIDICULOUS the company that currently owns me is sometimes, here are reasons I am thankful I can tolerate my job(s) currently:
1). I have a steady job with steady pay that allows me to live in an expensive city that I just so happen to love.
2). I have health/dental/life benefits with said job.
3). I have an easy commute with a work schedule I am currently very content with (though it might soon change, and not by choice, and you can bet your bottom dollar there will be another post if that happens).
4). I can watch all the Doctor Who I want while I'm at work. You guys! I. am. SO. OBSESSED.
5). My first job allows (well, "allow" meaning the time frame I work during, not exactly a "knowing allowance" by the company) me to have my second job, which, for the most part, keeps me sane.
6). My second job is on the right path toward what I actually want to be doing with my life and is a great stepping stone (or hopefully will be when I look back from my "Happily Ever After" career in the future).
And that is what I am thankful for in my work life at the moment. Yes, it's boring and a little depressing to only see those subjects currently, and not "I feel so challenged" or "I am given so many opportunities to move forward in my career," but, because this is the Tolerating phase, I'll take it for now!
And now on to what I will NOT tolerate.
Here's a little tidbit of information about me. When I get it in my head that something's important to me, I get crazy, seriously passionate about it and then I ABSOLUTELY MUST spread that passion to anyone else who is remotely close to me in any way. This is why Facebook is dangerous for a person like me (as any of my friends who are annoyed with my political posts and links can attest to). And yes, because I run by emotions, it's hard for me, when I'm told I'm wrong about something I'm passionate about, to not take that personally. As I so eloquently put it this past weekend at home when a few friends and I were talking politics and one person said she wanted to learn the facts, I said, "I don't give facts, I only give opinions." And this really is true (so I probably need to stop pretending that I am giving out cold hard facts when it's clearly my opinionated version of the facts).
Anyways, for the past few years I have taken it upon myself to supply red ribbons for those around me who are interested and raise money for an AIDS foundation on World AIDS Day (December 1st). Actually, this really started after I read the play "The Baltimore Waltz" by Paula Vogel in my directing class with Norma in college, and we had big ole discussions on the subject, which just so happened to fall around World AIDS Day that year. So big shoutout to that!
Last year, it was seriously depressing. I didn't really know the people I worked with very well at that point, and when I mentioned my fundraiser to my then manager, I was told it's not really allowed because it's not something that's affiliated with the company (??). So I had to do it all very hush-hush, and it just sort of killed the whole thing. No one really knew about it or felt inclined to participate, and you basically had to be all sneaky about donating any money. I think I ended up donating a lot more on my own than I would have, just because I was embarrassed of how poorly I pulled the whole thing off, so I guess that's probably a good thing in the end. But it was sad to watch it all go down at the time. And yes, obviously, I took that personally. Passion = Personal. (TM that shit!)
However, this year, I have been determined to do it all entirely differently. I'm tech savvy now (hello! I'm blogging guys!) and I know about this fancy thing called PayPal that allows people to donate money when they're not right next to you handing you cash! It's a miracle! So, in order to get the ball rolling, I sent out an email to family and friends, I'm working on a Facebook post about it, and I emailed my coworkers. And because, in the past year, I've received a lot of emails at work about coworkers' personal things, like band performances and catalog sales and the like, I assumed it'd be fine to give brief notice about what I was planning on doing.
NO. IT. WAS. NOT.
Apparently, what I did was very much against policy and now I'm in trouble for it. UUUUGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH. I think it's just a warning about trouble, and not actual trouble with consequences, but still. I cannot believe that what I'm doing by emailing (the coworkers I actually know personally) about this is actually so horrible that I need to receive a warning for my behavior. Seriously? SERIOUSLY? YOU CAN BET I VIEW THIS AS PERSONAL.
And yes, it is reeeeaaallllyyy hard to stop myself from jumping up and screaming "HATE CRIME!!!" at the top of my lungs right now.
Because I know that would be uncalled for and jumping to conclusions and, dare I say, dramatic? And also, well, completely wrong.
All I'm saying, in order to make this okay, everyone else who ever sent out an email about something unrelated to work that involved giving coworkers information about that unrelated-to-work-thing and allowing them to make a decision if they want to partake in it or not better have received that same damn notice as well!!!!!! I realize that yes, what I did was probably against policy. BUT if there's a policy, you cannot only enforce it on occasion! Otherwise, you run into a whole other issue when you only choose to do it in a situation that involved a very stigmatized disease (ie, me making a big ole fuss about discrimination).
In the meantime, I'm still determined to make this year the best year yet for spreading awareness and raising money, even if my place of work wants to spit in the face of anyone who has ever been impacted by the horrible disease that is HIV/AIDS. That wasn't too dramatic, was it? Also, will this blog hold up as evidence in a court of law when I bring about the discrimination case? And don't give me any crap about how I'm already losing that battle since what I did was against the policy that I agreed to follow. Tomato, tomato (yeeeaaah, that doesn't really work in blog form, does it?).
So, if you're my Facebook friend, look for something today or tomorrow about how to donate if you're interested. And if you're a currently in-person friend, and I'm going to see you before Friday afternoon, let me know if you want to donate or would like a red ribbon to wear on Thursday. And if you're my coworker, be real sneaky about everything on Thursday (and I also hope you're not tattling on me to people at work, because I'm not really writing this with the idea that coworkers are reading it unless they share my opinions. So if that's not you, this isn't me writing it and this isn't about your company and you're totally wrong in your assumptions. These aren't the droids you're looking for). And if you're a total stranger, send me a message or comment so that I can get you the info without giving my secret identity away (ha ha) and getting fired for calling my office bigoted and discriminatory. Yay!
Spread the word, people, and let's do our part toward ending the stigma and destroying this disease.
Friday, October 14, 2011
"Hello Darkness, My Old Friend"
I have been silenced.
Honestly, I don't know why this surprises me. If you've been paying attention at all in the last year or so, it's pretty clear this was bound to happen. We all know who I work for, who's running my day to day basically. And we all know Big Brother wants to watch you, but also keep you silent, unless you drink their Kool-Aid. Which I clearly do not.
Apparently silencing is the thing that really kills my soul here.
Which also shouldn't surprise me, since I will literally FLIP OUT on anyone who tries to shush me. Seriously. Ask me to shut up, yell at me, whatever. Just do NOT shush me or I will cut a bitch. I must have some childhood trauma from an elementary teacher shushing me. Oh wait, that happened ALL THE TIME. Let me pause from my work tales of woe to tell you a little story about a small, lively, chatty girl living in Georgia.
Yes, I lived in Georgia.
When I was in kindergarten, we moved down south. My parents loved to move in the middle of the school year when we were kids, so I always got to be the new girl mid-year. Luckily, it was when I was little (all before 3rd grade), so it wasn't too hard to make new friends, as I'm sure it would have been later in my education. Anyways, moving mid-year from Wisconsin to Georgia meant I went from a solid Midwestern education to a classroom in a trailer behind the school in the deep South. I do not joke. We were a little overcrowded. This also meant I went from a glorious half day at the school a short walk from my house to a terrifying full day at a school 45-minutes on a bus away from home. In kindergarten.
What does a full day of kindergarten mean? Nap time.
Now? I would KILL for nap time every day. Though I'd probably read instead of sleep. Because here's the thing. I'm not a good napper. Based on this memory, I'm going to go ahead and say I never was all that great at it, but my mom will have to confirm that one for you. Being forced to sleep at a specific time everyday is not my thing.
Actually, it looks like being forced to do anything isn't my thing. See all my previous posts about my job.
So one day, this lively little Chatty Cathy* (*name has been changed to work well in the story) was forced to lay down on a mat in the middle of the classroom in the middle of the afternoon in the dark, and go to sleep. Yeeeaaaahhhh, that didn't go so well. I started whispering to the people next to me, because guess what? I wasn't tired. I wanted to LEARN, dammit!!!
Nah, I probably just wanted to talk, but still.
Now, in the good ole state 'o Georgia back in the day, there were probably 2000 kids in my elementary school. TWO THOUSAND KIDS. Hence the classroom trailers in the back. I've heard it has since become two schools, but who cares now. I'm back in the Midwest!! Anyways, on top of being that crowded, you also only interacted with your classroom every day, all day. In Wisconsin, we had teams and you knew everyone in your grade. In Georgia, you knew the kids in your class, and maybe a few others throughout the school who were your neighbors. Everyone else was STRANGER DANGER.
So, when I got in trouble for talking during nap time (because, let's face it, I still don't really know how to whisper properly), my punishment (I'm assuming it got to the punishment level because I ignored being shushed multiple times) was to be sent to another kindergarten classroom for the rest of nap time. Which, for a 6 year old, is pretty terrifying. Because not only do you know NO ONE in that room, but you don't know the teacher, you just got in trouble in front of everyone, and you're walking into a strange room that's dark and silent. Pretty sure I laid on my mat and cried. I definitely did not sleep.
And I'm just going to self-analyze here and say that this is the start of my hatred of shushing. Because not only did I never learn my lesson from that, but I also never learned how to talk really quietly (aka, whisper). So I got shushed A LOT as a kid in school.
But now, I'm an adult. And guess what. I'm going to talk when I want to because I know when it's appropriate and when it's not now. (Ok, that's not really true either. But seriously, DON'T SHUSH ME. I'm not kidding... Drew.)
And apparently, talking to coworkers is no longer appropriate under the rule of Big Brother.
Now, I'm completely jumping to conclusions here, but let's just go with it. We recently moved almost everyone to new desks, which is usually pretty exciting. My new desk is actually pretty nice. However, the way we're spread out in the office, I'm not a fan of. Because now I'm in my own little Guam, where I sit with my back to my team and no longer talk out loud pretty much all day long. Working for eight-plus hours a day without having real, out-loud conversations with people makes me feel INSANE. I am not even being dramatic about it either. I seriously feel a little crazy by the end of the day. I send emails as long as this post to friends to feel like I'm not all up in my head. However, writing an email is completely all up in your head, so that's a stupid idea. Writing this blog? Also kind of stupid for the same reasons. I'm not actually TALKING TO PEOPLE. I'm just writing in a public diary, or in the case of emails, a more private public diary.
Thank GOD for gchat. Seriously, people at Google (who are obviously reading this), thank you for making a cooler, more used version of AIM. Without gchat, I'd be stabbing my eyeballs out with the unsharpened Disney princess pencil I have at my desk (???). However, unfortunately, most of my friends also work during the day, and I'm going to go ahead and assume their jobs are more a) time consuming, b) interactive with things other than a computer, and c) fulfilling. So they can't always gchat at the level I can.
So instead, I listen to the Lord of the Rings soundtrack on my iPod (ok, that's just something I did recently and it was to drown out the sounds of other people's [loud] music and the crazy-inducing sound of typing) and stare out the window when I need a break. Sometimes, I jealously listen to other people who sit closer together talk to each other. Or watch them as they actually get up and go talk to friends. Apparently I'm not in that club, or I can't think of anything important enough to say to entice moving and interrupting someone's work (I have a lot to say, but none of it's important). I'm assuming I'm more annoying than anything when I do try to have conversations at work. Again, see the part about having a lot to say and none of it being important.
Most of the time, I just think about everything social I'm going to do at the end of the work day. Having my second job is a HUGE lifesaver. And luckily I can be the ridiculous, over-the-top, loud, sometimes annoying, goofball that I am at that job. I think I would just up and quit Big Brother's world without a new job lined up if I didn't have another outlet to feel like myself again. Having a solid group of friends who also want to be social after work is amazing too. These are all the people who leave me with one night a week to watch all my DVRed TV, and while I will always complain about it (I'm a Jew folks, that won't ever change), I absolutely love being that busy. If I could make being social and interacting with people my job, I'd do it.
Oh wait, that's what I'm trying to do!!!!
I certainly hope it happens soon. Who knows what's going to happen next here after this silencing? I bet they find my blog and I suddenly disappear. If that happens, someone who actually know me and what I do and where I work, deal with it, please?! K, thanks.
Meanwhile, I'm going to continue to talk anyone's ear off the minute I get out of this silent soul-sucking site (See! I'm alliterating! I need to communicate more or else I will sink into nerdy words and poetic structures!!!). And yes, that includes my bus driver. Who, by the way, is actually very nice and his name is Rolando (I think. I'm so horrible.) and he has to take care of his mom because she recently broke her ankle taking the dog outside at midnight. And he still gives me free rides when I need them (aka, the two weeks I was without a bus pass). The other one, I don't see anymore. Whew.
And now, back to silence. Because I'm counting this post as talking to people.
Honestly, I don't know why this surprises me. If you've been paying attention at all in the last year or so, it's pretty clear this was bound to happen. We all know who I work for, who's running my day to day basically. And we all know Big Brother wants to watch you, but also keep you silent, unless you drink their Kool-Aid. Which I clearly do not.
Apparently silencing is the thing that really kills my soul here.
Which also shouldn't surprise me, since I will literally FLIP OUT on anyone who tries to shush me. Seriously. Ask me to shut up, yell at me, whatever. Just do NOT shush me or I will cut a bitch. I must have some childhood trauma from an elementary teacher shushing me. Oh wait, that happened ALL THE TIME. Let me pause from my work tales of woe to tell you a little story about a small, lively, chatty girl living in Georgia.
Yes, I lived in Georgia.
When I was in kindergarten, we moved down south. My parents loved to move in the middle of the school year when we were kids, so I always got to be the new girl mid-year. Luckily, it was when I was little (all before 3rd grade), so it wasn't too hard to make new friends, as I'm sure it would have been later in my education. Anyways, moving mid-year from Wisconsin to Georgia meant I went from a solid Midwestern education to a classroom in a trailer behind the school in the deep South. I do not joke. We were a little overcrowded. This also meant I went from a glorious half day at the school a short walk from my house to a terrifying full day at a school 45-minutes on a bus away from home. In kindergarten.
What does a full day of kindergarten mean? Nap time.
Now? I would KILL for nap time every day. Though I'd probably read instead of sleep. Because here's the thing. I'm not a good napper. Based on this memory, I'm going to go ahead and say I never was all that great at it, but my mom will have to confirm that one for you. Being forced to sleep at a specific time everyday is not my thing.
Actually, it looks like being forced to do anything isn't my thing. See all my previous posts about my job.
So one day, this lively little Chatty Cathy* (*name has been changed to work well in the story) was forced to lay down on a mat in the middle of the classroom in the middle of the afternoon in the dark, and go to sleep. Yeeeaaaahhhh, that didn't go so well. I started whispering to the people next to me, because guess what? I wasn't tired. I wanted to LEARN, dammit!!!
Nah, I probably just wanted to talk, but still.
Now, in the good ole state 'o Georgia back in the day, there were probably 2000 kids in my elementary school. TWO THOUSAND KIDS. Hence the classroom trailers in the back. I've heard it has since become two schools, but who cares now. I'm back in the Midwest!! Anyways, on top of being that crowded, you also only interacted with your classroom every day, all day. In Wisconsin, we had teams and you knew everyone in your grade. In Georgia, you knew the kids in your class, and maybe a few others throughout the school who were your neighbors. Everyone else was STRANGER DANGER.
So, when I got in trouble for talking during nap time (because, let's face it, I still don't really know how to whisper properly), my punishment (I'm assuming it got to the punishment level because I ignored being shushed multiple times) was to be sent to another kindergarten classroom for the rest of nap time. Which, for a 6 year old, is pretty terrifying. Because not only do you know NO ONE in that room, but you don't know the teacher, you just got in trouble in front of everyone, and you're walking into a strange room that's dark and silent. Pretty sure I laid on my mat and cried. I definitely did not sleep.
And I'm just going to self-analyze here and say that this is the start of my hatred of shushing. Because not only did I never learn my lesson from that, but I also never learned how to talk really quietly (aka, whisper). So I got shushed A LOT as a kid in school.
But now, I'm an adult. And guess what. I'm going to talk when I want to because I know when it's appropriate and when it's not now. (Ok, that's not really true either. But seriously, DON'T SHUSH ME. I'm not kidding... Drew.)
And apparently, talking to coworkers is no longer appropriate under the rule of Big Brother.
Now, I'm completely jumping to conclusions here, but let's just go with it. We recently moved almost everyone to new desks, which is usually pretty exciting. My new desk is actually pretty nice. However, the way we're spread out in the office, I'm not a fan of. Because now I'm in my own little Guam, where I sit with my back to my team and no longer talk out loud pretty much all day long. Working for eight-plus hours a day without having real, out-loud conversations with people makes me feel INSANE. I am not even being dramatic about it either. I seriously feel a little crazy by the end of the day. I send emails as long as this post to friends to feel like I'm not all up in my head. However, writing an email is completely all up in your head, so that's a stupid idea. Writing this blog? Also kind of stupid for the same reasons. I'm not actually TALKING TO PEOPLE. I'm just writing in a public diary, or in the case of emails, a more private public diary.
Thank GOD for gchat. Seriously, people at Google (who are obviously reading this), thank you for making a cooler, more used version of AIM. Without gchat, I'd be stabbing my eyeballs out with the unsharpened Disney princess pencil I have at my desk (???). However, unfortunately, most of my friends also work during the day, and I'm going to go ahead and assume their jobs are more a) time consuming, b) interactive with things other than a computer, and c) fulfilling. So they can't always gchat at the level I can.
So instead, I listen to the Lord of the Rings soundtrack on my iPod (ok, that's just something I did recently and it was to drown out the sounds of other people's [loud] music and the crazy-inducing sound of typing) and stare out the window when I need a break. Sometimes, I jealously listen to other people who sit closer together talk to each other. Or watch them as they actually get up and go talk to friends. Apparently I'm not in that club, or I can't think of anything important enough to say to entice moving and interrupting someone's work (I have a lot to say, but none of it's important). I'm assuming I'm more annoying than anything when I do try to have conversations at work. Again, see the part about having a lot to say and none of it being important.
Most of the time, I just think about everything social I'm going to do at the end of the work day. Having my second job is a HUGE lifesaver. And luckily I can be the ridiculous, over-the-top, loud, sometimes annoying, goofball that I am at that job. I think I would just up and quit Big Brother's world without a new job lined up if I didn't have another outlet to feel like myself again. Having a solid group of friends who also want to be social after work is amazing too. These are all the people who leave me with one night a week to watch all my DVRed TV, and while I will always complain about it (I'm a Jew folks, that won't ever change), I absolutely love being that busy. If I could make being social and interacting with people my job, I'd do it.
Oh wait, that's what I'm trying to do!!!!
I certainly hope it happens soon. Who knows what's going to happen next here after this silencing? I bet they find my blog and I suddenly disappear. If that happens, someone who actually know me and what I do and where I work, deal with it, please?! K, thanks.
Meanwhile, I'm going to continue to talk anyone's ear off the minute I get out of this silent soul-sucking site (See! I'm alliterating! I need to communicate more or else I will sink into nerdy words and poetic structures!!!). And yes, that includes my bus driver. Who, by the way, is actually very nice and his name is Rolando (I think. I'm so horrible.) and he has to take care of his mom because she recently broke her ankle taking the dog outside at midnight. And he still gives me free rides when I need them (aka, the two weeks I was without a bus pass). The other one, I don't see anymore. Whew.
And now, back to silence. Because I'm counting this post as talking to people.
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
"The wheels on the bus go round and round!"
Holy crap guys! BIG NEWS.
Nope, not that kind of big news.
And not that kind either (...Mom).
Blogger changed their interface and added tons of new features and now I can learn things about my blog! Like how many pageviews there are! This is ginormous, because that was kind of the whole reason I was going to switch to WordPress. I haven't done a ton of looking around, because I logged in to write something (SHOCKING, I know) and then got overwhelmed with joy and excitement by what I saw, so I don't know if I can do the whole fancy schmancy 'email new post to my subscribers' thingamabob. But I will find out and let you know if I can. Because that will be huge for my fanbase. Fanbase. Ha. But seriously, that will allow more of you than just Drew and Tim to read stuff. And comment. And hopefully not comment as if you were anonymous fans, which is the biggest pityfest I have ever received. Thanks DREW AND TIM. Asshats.
Anyways, this is all very exciting and hopefully it will a) encourage me to write more, b) encourage more people to read this, and c) allow me to actually update this baby so it doesn't look like 1993 when you're reading it. Hurray! And also, thank you for being the one company to make a good change that doesn't piss off loads of people (I'm looking at you, Netflix and Facebook!).
The real reason I came on here to write though, is also totally unrelated to job huntressing. It's all about ridiculous bus driver encounters. However, I CAN link it back to jobs though. But first of all, an update.
Working for Big Brother still sucks. Internet is shut down to the bare-essentials (which obviously includes this site, gmail, people.com, and one beautiful geeky girl blog called The Mary Sue that apparently is so unknown to those crazy Internet Nazis it doesn't come up on their need-to-block radar). However, because I refuse to have my rights as a human being stomped all over... and yes, the ability to stream hours of videos on my work computer on their time IS a human right!... I now simply use my awesome smart phone to watch Netflix all day. I have quite the fancy little station set up to do so, too. I'm rewatching Mad Men. Don Draper gets me through the day. Hero.
Other than that, things on the job huntressing front are moving very slowly, which I'm pretty ok with. I'm kind of trying to do the whole "networking" thing this time around, and because I rrrrreeeeaaaaalllllllllllllyyyyyyyyyyyyy want to make this work, I refuse to say anything more about it. It's like dream job potential, so I can't jinx it. And I can't eff it up. And I can't ruin everything. So this is me, keeping my mouth shut.
I mean, just about that. Not in general!
So, there's my crappy-bo-bappy update. Crappy because there's nothing to share. Sorrrrrrry. But this is why I'm sharing awkward encounter stories instead! And they relate to working because the first encounter happens when I go home from Big Brother. And the second, one-time-only (oh good GOD I hope so!) encounter was when I was making a mad dash from Job One to Job Two. Yay! It all ties together!
So, encounter number one. Which, in retrospect and compared to encounter number two, seems pretty lame now. Wah wah wah.
There's a grocery store in the middle of my (new) bus route to my (new) home, which is fairly convenient when you need to make chili after work one night. So I get off the bus, go into the store, and then come back out to grab the next bus that comes by. I step on with my big bag of groceries, and the somewhat-younger-for-a-CTA-employee male driver covers the bus pass scanner and waves me by. Um, awesome! Only because my bus pass is dying and takes like 15 tries to swipe sometimes. Because transfers are free and I had just gotten off the other bus, so it would have scanned, but done nothing. So, silly dumb little me is thinking how he must have known I had just transferred and that it didn't matter if I scanned my card anyways. You know, because that's logical. He knew I was riding a bus 20 minutes earlier. Even more logical? I also kind of thought that maybe he knew my pass was crappy and wanted to save me from trying 37 times. Because, obviously, it's more normal for him to know the most minute details of my life than to just be kind to me.
Fast foward to the following week, when I make a second pit stop at the grocery store, and happen to get on the bus there at the same time, and therefore get the same driver. Who, once again, waves me past. Now, I'm less certain he knows my route and bus usage, and more thinking that he's trying to flirt. I think him winking at me and smiling clued me in on that. Awkward. I still decide to exit at the front of the bus to thank him though, because I like thanking bus drivers every time I'm on the bus anyways (THANKS FOR NOT KILLING ME THIS TIME!) and also for the "free" ride.
And here we are, two days ago. When my work schedule has changed and I actually leave work 30 minutes later now. And I'm waiting at my normal bus stop to head straight home, when low and behold, I step on and swipe my card (I have a magic trick another bus driver lady showed me to make my card work more smoothly! Bus drivers LOVE me), and there he is. But he wasn't fast enough to stop me from swiping the card, so this time he actually tells me that I can just go straight back any time. Ah. Well, now it's clear. Because he definitely didn't say that to the two gentlemen and the one older lady who were also getting on the bus. Awesome. Because here's the kicker. I pay a flat monthly fee for my bus pass, so it's unlimited rides. Meaning, if he's waving me past every time I happen to grab his bus after work, I'm LOSING money (sort of... in my mind, more than anything). I mean, he's just letting me not have to swipe my card really, since I'm paying to use the bus whenever I want and however many times I want already anyways. So now I'm not only dealing with a super awkward encounter way too often, but I'm not even benefiting from it! Ugh. Fail.
So that's encounter number one. Which seems awkward, right? And it really is, mainly because this is my usual bus route, so this could start happening DAILY. However, encounter number two totally takes the cake for awkward bus driver experience, at least for now.
Yesterday, instead of taking the normal bus home, I had to rush over to grab a different one that would take me from Job 1 to Job 2. And since I was in a time crunch, and this bus isn't as frequent as most rush hour buses, I had to book it to get there in time so that I didn't have to wait 15-20 minutes for the next one. And of course, as I'm half a block away, I see it. There's traffic and a stop light between the bus and the stop though, so I decide I can TOTALLY make it there before the bus. Which, obviously, means running. Through downtown Union Station pedestrian traffic. And of course, to top it all of, I'm also running in hot pink flip flops, bright purple shorts with leggings underneath them, and a hot pink sweater. Because I am literally wearing half of one work outfit and half of the other. So I get to the bus stop just before the bus gets there. And when it pulls up and I get on, I'm the only one on there. And the driver says "Oh, you were running to get on the bus!? I would have let you on way back there." To which I reply "Oh did you notice me because of my ridiculous outfit?" (Yes, I really said that.) To which he replied, "No, actually I was checking you out."
W. T. F.
Two days in a row, basically. What is going on with Chicago bus drivers?? Anyways, that was awkward enough, so I head toward the back, to sit near the back door. Apparently, since it was an empty bus, that didn't stop our conversation. And then, to make things even better, NO ONE ELSE GOT ON. The entire ride. Though I'm almost convinced he was blowing off stops to continue talking. And now, on to our lovely conversation!
He makes a couple of super awkward comments about how he was checking me out, and I'm just trying to talk about work to change the topic. And he of course he ignores that and moves into the "do you have a boyfriend?" topic, to which I say yes. And... now this is a first for me, because I guess I assume that saying "Yes, I have a boyfriend" kind of puts an end to any possibility a person thinks he might have... he then asks me if we're monogamous. Hahahahahahaahaha. Awesome question. And smart, really. Because you never know. What if you never asked that after the first question, and that was all you needed to ask to make it happen!? This needs to become a part of normal bar conversations people, take note. So I say "Yes, we are" and mention how it's been 3 years. Which apparently baffles him, because he seems shocked that it has been that long and we're not married. Which makes me cringe, because I can see what's coming now, and I hate having this conversation with people who know me, but it's even worse with strangers.
Because, for those who know me, you know that I'm all about gay marriage being legal (and if I just lost readers with that sentence, I really have no idea why you were still reading this anyways. You guys, I'm really, seriously liberal). And I also don't have any desire (at this time) to get married if it's a segregated institution that I'd be joining. No offense to all you married folks out there, because I really have nothing against marriage or weddings, and to each their own! And I completely realize I'm pretty much on my own little island with this 'segregated institution' thought process anyways. But seriously, and the bf knows all about this and we have very real conversations about it, I just don't see why I should be able to get different tax benefits and rights (aka, at hospitals or after death or with children) than the people I love and spend a crap ton of time with are able to get. In my opinion, marriage should be totally done by the church/synagogue/mosque/religious institution, and a civil union should be the ONLY thing the state provides. So if you are a straight couple and you want to have your relationship recognized by the state and you want it to be a religious marriage, because that is what marriage is to you, you get your civil union with the government, and then you head to your church to get married. And if you're a gay couple and you want to do the same, you do it. We all know there are plenty of churches already who are down with that. That way, it's a church-by-church (or whatever institution you're part of) decision, on what "marriage" means and who gets to be part of it. And it stops being a political decision. And if you're a straight couple who wants the state recognition, but aren't into the whole religious marriage thing, you just get the civil union and call it a day. And same for gay couples who don't want the marriage part. Done. AND THEN WE MOVE ON TO WORLD PEACE. Obviously, I should be President.
Anyways, I'll get off my soapbox. It's definitely part of this story, but also, I have a public venue here (though, how public it is maybe takes away the meaning of that word). And I think I have a vaild, no, BRILLIANT, point. And why not get it out there! I know I'm not the only one that thinks church and state need to be separate, but I think my idea is a pretty darn good one, thank you very much. If you're a political speaker, I give you full authority to take it as your own and make it happen.
Now, getting back to the bus. So, the driver asks why we're not married. Cringe cringe. Time to start thinking of ways to explain it without bringing up gay rights, politics, etc to a total stranger. Of course, the dude assumes it's the bf's fault for not making a move. To which I have to explain it's my fault for putting my foot down. Which again, is apparently a baffling concept. Because why would a MAN want to get married and a WOMAN not immediately jump on that and start planning a ridiculous, over-the-top wedding that's she has been thinking about every second of the day every day since the moment she popped out of the womb!!?? This idea then leads to him telling me that I'm probably going to lose the guy if I keep making things move so slowly. Because, again, it's totally fine if a woman waits around for 10 years for a man to propose when he's finally ready for marriage, but if she's not ready for it yet and it's been 3 years, watch out. You're totally going to lose him.
Obviously, I'm not really into this bus ride, the driver, or the conversation anymore. But he keeps asking questions and it's just me, so I can't really ignore him without being completely rude. And you guys, do you not realize that he holds my life in his hands why he's driving the bus I'm riding on!?? So you don't want to piss off the driver! So I keep giving him a run around, saying how I'm in no rush and I have tons of weddings to go to each summer, so why add another (if you've ever gotten those reasons from me, I obviously didn't know if my real reason was acceptable to bring up, and if you're still reading this, CONGRATS! We're officially better friends now!). Which doesn't seem to be working on him.
However, he pauses from attacking my relationship to tell me alllll about the way he wants to propose to his eventual lady. Hint: it involves a helicopter. Like you didn't see that one coming. Yes, he would want to rent a helicopter, which is obviously very expensive, and fly up to a rooftop landing spot that overlooks the whole city or some grand view, and propose to her there.
Oh, and it also involves parachutes.
Why, you ask? Well, because if she says no (which, of course, she won't. Because as he told me, "Who would say no to a proposal like that!?"), he'll push her out. Yep. And I think he was a little serious about that, because he continued on to explain it in more detail. He'd push her out, but obviously she'd have a parachute one. And he'd also make sure it seemed completely accidental. Because that way, when she lands safely on the ground, and he's there to make sure she's safe and sound, she'll hopefully have had a life changing experience from that fall, and obviously she'll have to say yes now!
Ladies? Who's interested?? I'll give you the time and bus number, and you can go have an adventure of your own with him!
After his brief pause to tell me all about his dream proposal, we're back to the 20 questions. And my answers are not cutting it for him. So, finally, after he asks me if I'm religious and I say no, and now knowing we're nearing my stop, I just casually say that I just don't need to get married if not everyone's allowed to get married.
Pause.
"Do you mean gay people?"
"Yes."
Pause.
"Well. They have a lot of rights already. A lot of rights."
Aaaaannnnddd here we are. This is why I never say the real reason to strangers. Oof. Thankfully, that's really all he said about that, and then he was asking about civil unions, because he thought gay marriage was legal in Illinois and I had to explain the differences to him. And then he just talked about how he's a romantic guy and he likes surprising people and seeing their reactions, and then I was out of there!!!
Overall, it was fairly harmless and just sufficiently awkward enough to think it's a fantastic story, but be thankful that's probably the last time I'll be taking that bus route. Also, I like to think I made an influence on the way he thinks about gay marriage now too. Ha. Ha. Let's all pretend every time I open my mouth, people open their minds and change their points of view, ok!? I'm that important and amazing. Thank you.
And now you know a little more about me and my viewpoints. You didn't really want to? Well, too bad. We're best friends now. Deal with it.
Seven hours later, I'll leave you all with that whale of a tale. If you didn't already know I like to tell my stories in COMPLETE DETAIL, you've learned that lesson now. Congratulations for sticking with it! Your prize will be a new blog post. Someday. When I have something new to write about. Until then, my friends!
Nope, not that kind of big news.
And not that kind either (...Mom).
Blogger changed their interface and added tons of new features and now I can learn things about my blog! Like how many pageviews there are! This is ginormous, because that was kind of the whole reason I was going to switch to WordPress. I haven't done a ton of looking around, because I logged in to write something (SHOCKING, I know) and then got overwhelmed with joy and excitement by what I saw, so I don't know if I can do the whole fancy schmancy 'email new post to my subscribers' thingamabob. But I will find out and let you know if I can. Because that will be huge for my fanbase. Fanbase. Ha. But seriously, that will allow more of you than just Drew and Tim to read stuff. And comment. And hopefully not comment as if you were anonymous fans, which is the biggest pityfest I have ever received. Thanks DREW AND TIM. Asshats.
Anyways, this is all very exciting and hopefully it will a) encourage me to write more, b) encourage more people to read this, and c) allow me to actually update this baby so it doesn't look like 1993 when you're reading it. Hurray! And also, thank you for being the one company to make a good change that doesn't piss off loads of people (I'm looking at you, Netflix and Facebook!).
The real reason I came on here to write though, is also totally unrelated to job huntressing. It's all about ridiculous bus driver encounters. However, I CAN link it back to jobs though. But first of all, an update.
Working for Big Brother still sucks. Internet is shut down to the bare-essentials (which obviously includes this site, gmail, people.com, and one beautiful geeky girl blog called The Mary Sue that apparently is so unknown to those crazy Internet Nazis it doesn't come up on their need-to-block radar). However, because I refuse to have my rights as a human being stomped all over... and yes, the ability to stream hours of videos on my work computer on their time IS a human right!... I now simply use my awesome smart phone to watch Netflix all day. I have quite the fancy little station set up to do so, too. I'm rewatching Mad Men. Don Draper gets me through the day. Hero.
Other than that, things on the job huntressing front are moving very slowly, which I'm pretty ok with. I'm kind of trying to do the whole "networking" thing this time around, and because I rrrrreeeeaaaaalllllllllllllyyyyyyyyyyyyy want to make this work, I refuse to say anything more about it. It's like dream job potential, so I can't jinx it. And I can't eff it up. And I can't ruin everything. So this is me, keeping my mouth shut.
I mean, just about that. Not in general!
So, there's my crappy-bo-bappy update. Crappy because there's nothing to share. Sorrrrrrry. But this is why I'm sharing awkward encounter stories instead! And they relate to working because the first encounter happens when I go home from Big Brother. And the second, one-time-only (oh good GOD I hope so!) encounter was when I was making a mad dash from Job One to Job Two. Yay! It all ties together!
So, encounter number one. Which, in retrospect and compared to encounter number two, seems pretty lame now. Wah wah wah.
There's a grocery store in the middle of my (new) bus route to my (new) home, which is fairly convenient when you need to make chili after work one night. So I get off the bus, go into the store, and then come back out to grab the next bus that comes by. I step on with my big bag of groceries, and the somewhat-younger-for-a-CTA-employee male driver covers the bus pass scanner and waves me by. Um, awesome! Only because my bus pass is dying and takes like 15 tries to swipe sometimes. Because transfers are free and I had just gotten off the other bus, so it would have scanned, but done nothing. So, silly dumb little me is thinking how he must have known I had just transferred and that it didn't matter if I scanned my card anyways. You know, because that's logical. He knew I was riding a bus 20 minutes earlier. Even more logical? I also kind of thought that maybe he knew my pass was crappy and wanted to save me from trying 37 times. Because, obviously, it's more normal for him to know the most minute details of my life than to just be kind to me.
Fast foward to the following week, when I make a second pit stop at the grocery store, and happen to get on the bus there at the same time, and therefore get the same driver. Who, once again, waves me past. Now, I'm less certain he knows my route and bus usage, and more thinking that he's trying to flirt. I think him winking at me and smiling clued me in on that. Awkward. I still decide to exit at the front of the bus to thank him though, because I like thanking bus drivers every time I'm on the bus anyways (THANKS FOR NOT KILLING ME THIS TIME!) and also for the "free" ride.
And here we are, two days ago. When my work schedule has changed and I actually leave work 30 minutes later now. And I'm waiting at my normal bus stop to head straight home, when low and behold, I step on and swipe my card (I have a magic trick another bus driver lady showed me to make my card work more smoothly! Bus drivers LOVE me), and there he is. But he wasn't fast enough to stop me from swiping the card, so this time he actually tells me that I can just go straight back any time. Ah. Well, now it's clear. Because he definitely didn't say that to the two gentlemen and the one older lady who were also getting on the bus. Awesome. Because here's the kicker. I pay a flat monthly fee for my bus pass, so it's unlimited rides. Meaning, if he's waving me past every time I happen to grab his bus after work, I'm LOSING money (sort of... in my mind, more than anything). I mean, he's just letting me not have to swipe my card really, since I'm paying to use the bus whenever I want and however many times I want already anyways. So now I'm not only dealing with a super awkward encounter way too often, but I'm not even benefiting from it! Ugh. Fail.
So that's encounter number one. Which seems awkward, right? And it really is, mainly because this is my usual bus route, so this could start happening DAILY. However, encounter number two totally takes the cake for awkward bus driver experience, at least for now.
Yesterday, instead of taking the normal bus home, I had to rush over to grab a different one that would take me from Job 1 to Job 2. And since I was in a time crunch, and this bus isn't as frequent as most rush hour buses, I had to book it to get there in time so that I didn't have to wait 15-20 minutes for the next one. And of course, as I'm half a block away, I see it. There's traffic and a stop light between the bus and the stop though, so I decide I can TOTALLY make it there before the bus. Which, obviously, means running. Through downtown Union Station pedestrian traffic. And of course, to top it all of, I'm also running in hot pink flip flops, bright purple shorts with leggings underneath them, and a hot pink sweater. Because I am literally wearing half of one work outfit and half of the other. So I get to the bus stop just before the bus gets there. And when it pulls up and I get on, I'm the only one on there. And the driver says "Oh, you were running to get on the bus!? I would have let you on way back there." To which I reply "Oh did you notice me because of my ridiculous outfit?" (Yes, I really said that.) To which he replied, "No, actually I was checking you out."
W. T. F.
Two days in a row, basically. What is going on with Chicago bus drivers?? Anyways, that was awkward enough, so I head toward the back, to sit near the back door. Apparently, since it was an empty bus, that didn't stop our conversation. And then, to make things even better, NO ONE ELSE GOT ON. The entire ride. Though I'm almost convinced he was blowing off stops to continue talking. And now, on to our lovely conversation!
He makes a couple of super awkward comments about how he was checking me out, and I'm just trying to talk about work to change the topic. And he of course he ignores that and moves into the "do you have a boyfriend?" topic, to which I say yes. And... now this is a first for me, because I guess I assume that saying "Yes, I have a boyfriend" kind of puts an end to any possibility a person thinks he might have... he then asks me if we're monogamous. Hahahahahahaahaha. Awesome question. And smart, really. Because you never know. What if you never asked that after the first question, and that was all you needed to ask to make it happen!? This needs to become a part of normal bar conversations people, take note. So I say "Yes, we are" and mention how it's been 3 years. Which apparently baffles him, because he seems shocked that it has been that long and we're not married. Which makes me cringe, because I can see what's coming now, and I hate having this conversation with people who know me, but it's even worse with strangers.
Because, for those who know me, you know that I'm all about gay marriage being legal (and if I just lost readers with that sentence, I really have no idea why you were still reading this anyways. You guys, I'm really, seriously liberal). And I also don't have any desire (at this time) to get married if it's a segregated institution that I'd be joining. No offense to all you married folks out there, because I really have nothing against marriage or weddings, and to each their own! And I completely realize I'm pretty much on my own little island with this 'segregated institution' thought process anyways. But seriously, and the bf knows all about this and we have very real conversations about it, I just don't see why I should be able to get different tax benefits and rights (aka, at hospitals or after death or with children) than the people I love and spend a crap ton of time with are able to get. In my opinion, marriage should be totally done by the church/synagogue/mosque/religious institution, and a civil union should be the ONLY thing the state provides. So if you are a straight couple and you want to have your relationship recognized by the state and you want it to be a religious marriage, because that is what marriage is to you, you get your civil union with the government, and then you head to your church to get married. And if you're a gay couple and you want to do the same, you do it. We all know there are plenty of churches already who are down with that. That way, it's a church-by-church (or whatever institution you're part of) decision, on what "marriage" means and who gets to be part of it. And it stops being a political decision. And if you're a straight couple who wants the state recognition, but aren't into the whole religious marriage thing, you just get the civil union and call it a day. And same for gay couples who don't want the marriage part. Done. AND THEN WE MOVE ON TO WORLD PEACE. Obviously, I should be President.
Anyways, I'll get off my soapbox. It's definitely part of this story, but also, I have a public venue here (though, how public it is maybe takes away the meaning of that word). And I think I have a vaild, no, BRILLIANT, point. And why not get it out there! I know I'm not the only one that thinks church and state need to be separate, but I think my idea is a pretty darn good one, thank you very much. If you're a political speaker, I give you full authority to take it as your own and make it happen.
Now, getting back to the bus. So, the driver asks why we're not married. Cringe cringe. Time to start thinking of ways to explain it without bringing up gay rights, politics, etc to a total stranger. Of course, the dude assumes it's the bf's fault for not making a move. To which I have to explain it's my fault for putting my foot down. Which again, is apparently a baffling concept. Because why would a MAN want to get married and a WOMAN not immediately jump on that and start planning a ridiculous, over-the-top wedding that's she has been thinking about every second of the day every day since the moment she popped out of the womb!!?? This idea then leads to him telling me that I'm probably going to lose the guy if I keep making things move so slowly. Because, again, it's totally fine if a woman waits around for 10 years for a man to propose when he's finally ready for marriage, but if she's not ready for it yet and it's been 3 years, watch out. You're totally going to lose him.
Obviously, I'm not really into this bus ride, the driver, or the conversation anymore. But he keeps asking questions and it's just me, so I can't really ignore him without being completely rude. And you guys, do you not realize that he holds my life in his hands why he's driving the bus I'm riding on!?? So you don't want to piss off the driver! So I keep giving him a run around, saying how I'm in no rush and I have tons of weddings to go to each summer, so why add another (if you've ever gotten those reasons from me, I obviously didn't know if my real reason was acceptable to bring up, and if you're still reading this, CONGRATS! We're officially better friends now!). Which doesn't seem to be working on him.
However, he pauses from attacking my relationship to tell me alllll about the way he wants to propose to his eventual lady. Hint: it involves a helicopter. Like you didn't see that one coming. Yes, he would want to rent a helicopter, which is obviously very expensive, and fly up to a rooftop landing spot that overlooks the whole city or some grand view, and propose to her there.
Oh, and it also involves parachutes.
Why, you ask? Well, because if she says no (which, of course, she won't. Because as he told me, "Who would say no to a proposal like that!?"), he'll push her out. Yep. And I think he was a little serious about that, because he continued on to explain it in more detail. He'd push her out, but obviously she'd have a parachute one. And he'd also make sure it seemed completely accidental. Because that way, when she lands safely on the ground, and he's there to make sure she's safe and sound, she'll hopefully have had a life changing experience from that fall, and obviously she'll have to say yes now!
Ladies? Who's interested?? I'll give you the time and bus number, and you can go have an adventure of your own with him!
After his brief pause to tell me all about his dream proposal, we're back to the 20 questions. And my answers are not cutting it for him. So, finally, after he asks me if I'm religious and I say no, and now knowing we're nearing my stop, I just casually say that I just don't need to get married if not everyone's allowed to get married.
Pause.
"Do you mean gay people?"
"Yes."
Pause.
"Well. They have a lot of rights already. A lot of rights."
Aaaaannnnddd here we are. This is why I never say the real reason to strangers. Oof. Thankfully, that's really all he said about that, and then he was asking about civil unions, because he thought gay marriage was legal in Illinois and I had to explain the differences to him. And then he just talked about how he's a romantic guy and he likes surprising people and seeing their reactions, and then I was out of there!!!
Overall, it was fairly harmless and just sufficiently awkward enough to think it's a fantastic story, but be thankful that's probably the last time I'll be taking that bus route. Also, I like to think I made an influence on the way he thinks about gay marriage now too. Ha. Ha. Let's all pretend every time I open my mouth, people open their minds and change their points of view, ok!? I'm that important and amazing. Thank you.
And now you know a little more about me and my viewpoints. You didn't really want to? Well, too bad. We're best friends now. Deal with it.
Seven hours later, I'll leave you all with that whale of a tale. If you didn't already know I like to tell my stories in COMPLETE DETAIL, you've learned that lesson now. Congratulations for sticking with it! Your prize will be a new blog post. Someday. When I have something new to write about. Until then, my friends!
Friday, August 19, 2011
THIS IS WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT
YOU GUYS. I HAVE PROOF. PROOF THAT I AM RIGHT.
Surfing the web, including watching videos makes you work harder.
If you didn't click that link, stop. Click it. Read it. Come back.
IS THIS BLOWING YOUR MIND LIKE IT DID MINE!?
Sorry for all the caps, and italics, and boldness. But I feel so hugely validated right now and after such a Debbie Downer, mean-spirited, crabby, might-I-say bitchy post yesterday, some joy and excitement is needed, amIright??
Props all go to the lovely Ryan B for sending me the link and making my day, weekend, life seriously less depressing, especially with the pending internet blockage coming up on Monday. Yes, that's how real Big Brother is about this. We got one day to enjoy the sweet taste of freedom before it's ripped away from us.
However, my revenge has been to watch Hulu NONSTOP today. This is a new record. Normally I take some breaks. BUT NO. Eight straight hours today. SUCK ON THAT.
Sorry. I'm a little loopy from all the crappy TV watching. In other news, also making this whole thing less depressing, is the fact that I am getting both cable and internet at home for the first time in a year! Meaning, I don't actually rely on Hulu as my only source for TV anymore. Just in time. Whew.
And it's 2011 in my house again, kids! Hurrah!
Happy Friday to all, and to all a good weekend. (Oof. That was cheesy. Sorry. Bye!)
Surfing the web, including watching videos makes you work harder.
If you didn't click that link, stop. Click it. Read it. Come back.
IS THIS BLOWING YOUR MIND LIKE IT DID MINE!?
Sorry for all the caps, and italics, and boldness. But I feel so hugely validated right now and after such a Debbie Downer, mean-spirited, crabby, might-I-say bitchy post yesterday, some joy and excitement is needed, amIright??
Props all go to the lovely Ryan B for sending me the link and making my day, weekend, life seriously less depressing, especially with the pending internet blockage coming up on Monday. Yes, that's how real Big Brother is about this. We got one day to enjoy the sweet taste of freedom before it's ripped away from us.
However, my revenge has been to watch Hulu NONSTOP today. This is a new record. Normally I take some breaks. BUT NO. Eight straight hours today. SUCK ON THAT.
Sorry. I'm a little loopy from all the crappy TV watching. In other news, also making this whole thing less depressing, is the fact that I am getting both cable and internet at home for the first time in a year! Meaning, I don't actually rely on Hulu as my only source for TV anymore. Just in time. Whew.
And it's 2011 in my house again, kids! Hurrah!
Happy Friday to all, and to all a good weekend. (Oof. That was cheesy. Sorry. Bye!)
Thursday, August 18, 2011
R-E-S-P-E-C-T
Hello children. The word of today is "respect." And this post is all about the lack-thereof.
Big Brother over here is getting worse. But before I get into that, let me give you a little update on that last post.
I guess I've sort of heard back now? But not really officially? It's all a little weird. However, I am way less upset about it than I was before (but mainly because I'm probably the least qualified of the people I know who applied, so I never really had a chance from the get go). Basically, they seemed to have found someone from the outside that they liked and kind of just stopped all of the rest of the hiring/interview processes they were still working on.
Please note, this is obviously my interpretation of things (and if you haven't figured out that is what this whole blog is about, we're in trouble here). So I really have no clue about most of this and I'm just filling in the blanks with my imagination. Fun!
Anyways, apparently there were others who heard back and had phone interviews and the like. And then others like me, who got nada. I wasn't the only loser! Hurrah! But it all seems to have just stopped at some point...either at the beginning, like with me, or after a phone interview or something... and nobody seems to have actually gotten an official "no thank you." Or so I think, based on conversations I've had. It's all very mysterious and awkward, really.
And then the guy who they liked from the outside fell through. And now they're reopening the position. And starting over from stratch? That's what it seemed like when we were getting filled in on the situation at least. But hopefully some of the really qualified people actually did hear back from someone the second time around, and they weren't just completely tossed aside (again, like me). Because that seems completely stupid. The people I work with are awesome (it's basically part of the job qualifications... go me!!), so not hiring someone who already knows the scoop and is good at what they do seems odd and not very productive or the most profitable. BUT HEY, THAT'S JUST ME AND I DON'T RUN A BUSINESS. Sorry, I don't know why I felt like I needed to imply I was shouting that, but I did and it's there and that's how it's going to stay. And yes, I still think I'd be damn awesome at the role, but unfortunately my resume doesn't scream that as loudly as I do. THERE. Purpose for the all caps. I'm so good at typing things together.
But really guys, how the crap do you get a job that you like, that you're good at, and that pays you enough to live off of??? I feel like so many people who have joined the work force in the past 5 years or so are just struggling to make a career and I can't tell if this economy has just made it impossible to do what you want to do and make a living doing it, or if people have always just sat down and shut up about their crappy unhappy work lives.
Because guess what? I. Cannot. Do. That.
Surprised? Of course not. This is why I write this stupid blog. (You're not stupid blog, I'm sorry! But I do wish I didn't have to keep you around so much.) Because finding a job is hard as hell, and then finding a job you ENJOY is near impossible. Which is precisely why I currently have two jobs... one that pays for my life and one that I like. UGH.
Which leads me to my main point.
Big Brother has struck again, with a lot more force this time. And it goes something like this...
"We will begin blocking access to all streaming media... Please know this is not a punitive measure; rather, it is meant to improve our individual and collective productivity by allowing us to focus our energies on more profitable efforts."
Well, shit.
And that was the proverbial nail in the coffin of my job here. Because I can't deal with this place without Hulu keeping me sane. Being bored makes me insane. Seriously, I need to watch TV while I work here or I WILL LOSE MY MIND. I basically already have, so imagine how much worse it's about to get!
Now, don't get me wrong here. I completely agree that having employees use company time and internet to watch TV is not a good idea for a business. I actually hate that I even do it. However, let me explain to you why I do, why I think it's ok... and not even just ok, but actually good... that I do, and why they are stupid to take it away (at least from me).
I watch Hulu at work like other people listen to Pandora or whatnot. I'm the kind of person that has the TV on at all times. While I get ready in the morning, while I cook dinner, while I eat dinner, while I'm falling asleep (though that's a new thing I've learned from someone else that I am more than happy to put an end to when the TV gets moved out of the bedroom shortly!), etc. Yes, if I had one in the bathroom, I'd watch it there. TMI? Sorry.
Anyways, I like having TV on while I do other stuff in the same way I like having music on. It covers up the sounds of other things that would distract me from my task more. Like conversations or weird noises in my apartment when it's dark and I'm alone and easily scared. So, at work, it's the same. Well, not usually the scared part. But with the way things are headed here, who knows if it's going to get scary! And I'm very smart about my Hulu choices. I watch crappy shows that I would never DVR to watch at home. I'm talking about The Bachelorette or Bachelor Pad or Masterchef (not to be confused with Top Chef, which is awesome and a sit-down-and-watch-it kind of show! I'm promoting you, Andy Cohen! Again! Let's hang out! With the Real Housewives, of course!). The kind of stuff that I can basically just listen to all day. And honestly, it completely helps focus me and keep me on track with work. Competition shows are the best, because they make me start working harder and faster while I'm listening. SO, this is why taking away Hulu is stupid.
What I do here is not what I thought I'd be doing when I got the job. Totally new concept to people, right?? No one ever has had that happen in a job before?? Ha. Anyways, I had a lot of expectations for this gig, and not a one of them has happened. Which makes me more sad than anything, because I see a ton of potential for a great working environment here. But the missing ingredient that would seriously make such a huge difference in happiness and appreciation for the company versus miserable boredom and slightly frustrated indifference here?? RESPECT. Respect for the employees, to be specific. THE PEOPLE WHO KEEP YOUR COMPANY WORKING SMOOTHLY. Oh, JUST THOSE PEOPLE. Sheesh. And this latest Big Brother trick is an prime example of how respect for the employees and the work they do is just not at all important.
My job is glorified data entry. I thought I'd be using my brain here (in fact, I'm pretty sure I even mentioned in my interview how excited I was for a job that would challenge me and get me thinking a lot). And I did get to use it while I learned the ropes. And then I learned them. And then I continued doing the exact same thing for over a year. No growth or development, just small changes that everyone made to the work process. And even better? There's no room for growth here in general. They embrace the fact that an employee's lifespan here is about 2 years, and then they find a new job and leave. And they expect us to get a crap load of work done everyday, with no break from the onslaught of tasks, just additional work added to your pile. Because people keep leaving and they don't bring in new people, so the jobs just get spread out to the already overworked employees. And WE ALL DO THIS. AND WE DO IT WELL.
So, on top of all this, they've slowly been removing all the perks I heard about when I first starting working here. First to go was the holiday party. Then smaller department parties/outings. Then breakroom items like flavored creamers and more than just one generic type of tea. And now, video streaming. There is literally not one thing here that makes it an appealing position anymore (besides the general getting paid that happens with any job).
And that to me screams, we care more about money making than we do about developing a great company to be a part of. Which is not how I think or work or anything. And yes, if you were wondering, being able to watch TV while I work was the one thing that has been holding me to this job and not causing me to seriously start huntressing and applying to places again. So, I think this right here, what you're looking at, is my breaking point. It's time to take things seriously now.
And thus it begins again. No, I have no intentions to quit before I have another job lined up (which, I just realized, would be the first time I will have ever left a job to immediately start another job, instead of entering a period of unemployment). But I will be actively looking for one now.
And this time, I'm looking for one that wants me there and will respect me as an employee and will give me challenging, enjoyable work that keeps me busy so that I don't have to watch Hulu all day to make my life bearable, and hopefully one that I love and that starts building my career! That's not too much to ask, right? Right??
Big Brother over here is getting worse. But before I get into that, let me give you a little update on that last post.
I guess I've sort of heard back now? But not really officially? It's all a little weird. However, I am way less upset about it than I was before (but mainly because I'm probably the least qualified of the people I know who applied, so I never really had a chance from the get go). Basically, they seemed to have found someone from the outside that they liked and kind of just stopped all of the rest of the hiring/interview processes they were still working on.
Please note, this is obviously my interpretation of things (and if you haven't figured out that is what this whole blog is about, we're in trouble here). So I really have no clue about most of this and I'm just filling in the blanks with my imagination. Fun!
Anyways, apparently there were others who heard back and had phone interviews and the like. And then others like me, who got nada. I wasn't the only loser! Hurrah! But it all seems to have just stopped at some point...either at the beginning, like with me, or after a phone interview or something... and nobody seems to have actually gotten an official "no thank you." Or so I think, based on conversations I've had. It's all very mysterious and awkward, really.
And then the guy who they liked from the outside fell through. And now they're reopening the position. And starting over from stratch? That's what it seemed like when we were getting filled in on the situation at least. But hopefully some of the really qualified people actually did hear back from someone the second time around, and they weren't just completely tossed aside (again, like me). Because that seems completely stupid. The people I work with are awesome (it's basically part of the job qualifications... go me!!), so not hiring someone who already knows the scoop and is good at what they do seems odd and not very productive or the most profitable. BUT HEY, THAT'S JUST ME AND I DON'T RUN A BUSINESS. Sorry, I don't know why I felt like I needed to imply I was shouting that, but I did and it's there and that's how it's going to stay. And yes, I still think I'd be damn awesome at the role, but unfortunately my resume doesn't scream that as loudly as I do. THERE. Purpose for the all caps. I'm so good at typing things together.
But really guys, how the crap do you get a job that you like, that you're good at, and that pays you enough to live off of??? I feel like so many people who have joined the work force in the past 5 years or so are just struggling to make a career and I can't tell if this economy has just made it impossible to do what you want to do and make a living doing it, or if people have always just sat down and shut up about their crappy unhappy work lives.
Because guess what? I. Cannot. Do. That.
Surprised? Of course not. This is why I write this stupid blog. (You're not stupid blog, I'm sorry! But I do wish I didn't have to keep you around so much.) Because finding a job is hard as hell, and then finding a job you ENJOY is near impossible. Which is precisely why I currently have two jobs... one that pays for my life and one that I like. UGH.
Which leads me to my main point.
Big Brother has struck again, with a lot more force this time. And it goes something like this...
"We will begin blocking access to all streaming media... Please know this is not a punitive measure; rather, it is meant to improve our individual and collective productivity by allowing us to focus our energies on more profitable efforts."
Well, shit.
And that was the proverbial nail in the coffin of my job here. Because I can't deal with this place without Hulu keeping me sane. Being bored makes me insane. Seriously, I need to watch TV while I work here or I WILL LOSE MY MIND. I basically already have, so imagine how much worse it's about to get!
Now, don't get me wrong here. I completely agree that having employees use company time and internet to watch TV is not a good idea for a business. I actually hate that I even do it. However, let me explain to you why I do, why I think it's ok... and not even just ok, but actually good... that I do, and why they are stupid to take it away (at least from me).
I watch Hulu at work like other people listen to Pandora or whatnot. I'm the kind of person that has the TV on at all times. While I get ready in the morning, while I cook dinner, while I eat dinner, while I'm falling asleep (though that's a new thing I've learned from someone else that I am more than happy to put an end to when the TV gets moved out of the bedroom shortly!), etc. Yes, if I had one in the bathroom, I'd watch it there. TMI? Sorry.
Anyways, I like having TV on while I do other stuff in the same way I like having music on. It covers up the sounds of other things that would distract me from my task more. Like conversations or weird noises in my apartment when it's dark and I'm alone and easily scared. So, at work, it's the same. Well, not usually the scared part. But with the way things are headed here, who knows if it's going to get scary! And I'm very smart about my Hulu choices. I watch crappy shows that I would never DVR to watch at home. I'm talking about The Bachelorette or Bachelor Pad or Masterchef (not to be confused with Top Chef, which is awesome and a sit-down-and-watch-it kind of show! I'm promoting you, Andy Cohen! Again! Let's hang out! With the Real Housewives, of course!). The kind of stuff that I can basically just listen to all day. And honestly, it completely helps focus me and keep me on track with work. Competition shows are the best, because they make me start working harder and faster while I'm listening. SO, this is why taking away Hulu is stupid.
What I do here is not what I thought I'd be doing when I got the job. Totally new concept to people, right?? No one ever has had that happen in a job before?? Ha. Anyways, I had a lot of expectations for this gig, and not a one of them has happened. Which makes me more sad than anything, because I see a ton of potential for a great working environment here. But the missing ingredient that would seriously make such a huge difference in happiness and appreciation for the company versus miserable boredom and slightly frustrated indifference here?? RESPECT. Respect for the employees, to be specific. THE PEOPLE WHO KEEP YOUR COMPANY WORKING SMOOTHLY. Oh, JUST THOSE PEOPLE. Sheesh. And this latest Big Brother trick is an prime example of how respect for the employees and the work they do is just not at all important.
My job is glorified data entry. I thought I'd be using my brain here (in fact, I'm pretty sure I even mentioned in my interview how excited I was for a job that would challenge me and get me thinking a lot). And I did get to use it while I learned the ropes. And then I learned them. And then I continued doing the exact same thing for over a year. No growth or development, just small changes that everyone made to the work process. And even better? There's no room for growth here in general. They embrace the fact that an employee's lifespan here is about 2 years, and then they find a new job and leave. And they expect us to get a crap load of work done everyday, with no break from the onslaught of tasks, just additional work added to your pile. Because people keep leaving and they don't bring in new people, so the jobs just get spread out to the already overworked employees. And WE ALL DO THIS. AND WE DO IT WELL.
So, on top of all this, they've slowly been removing all the perks I heard about when I first starting working here. First to go was the holiday party. Then smaller department parties/outings. Then breakroom items like flavored creamers and more than just one generic type of tea. And now, video streaming. There is literally not one thing here that makes it an appealing position anymore (besides the general getting paid that happens with any job).
And that to me screams, we care more about money making than we do about developing a great company to be a part of. Which is not how I think or work or anything. And yes, if you were wondering, being able to watch TV while I work was the one thing that has been holding me to this job and not causing me to seriously start huntressing and applying to places again. So, I think this right here, what you're looking at, is my breaking point. It's time to take things seriously now.
And thus it begins again. No, I have no intentions to quit before I have another job lined up (which, I just realized, would be the first time I will have ever left a job to immediately start another job, instead of entering a period of unemployment). But I will be actively looking for one now.
And this time, I'm looking for one that wants me there and will respect me as an employee and will give me challenging, enjoyable work that keeps me busy so that I don't have to watch Hulu all day to make my life bearable, and hopefully one that I love and that starts building my career! That's not too much to ask, right? Right??
Monday, August 8, 2011
"But I Believe I'm a Walking Contradiction"
Poop (pardon my French).
I applied for a full time position with my currently part time second job, and haven't heard back at all. At. All. Which, as you should recall, is a pet peeve of mine (see the middle of this post for reference: http://jobhuntressing.blogspot.com/2011/05/what-have-i-done-sweet-jesus-what-have.html ).
Which causes a dilemma. Because, you see, here I am, working a part time job I really truly enjoy, so much so that I want to get hired on full time so that I can make this shindig my career! And now this job has put me in a very awkward position. Because I didn't hear back at all. And that annoys me, to put it lightly. (Which, in their defense, I got an immediate and generic response to my application saying they'd contact me if I "was a good match." Which, um, I work there. So I certainly hope I am. So it's really not much of a defense. Sorry. I'm a picky former recruiter SOB.)
I'm annoyed not only because they didn't even say, sorry, we've gone with other more qualified candidates (which, having found out some of my peers also applied, is a VERY valid statement). While I feel like I was actually a "good match", based on the listed qualifications, I really might not have been based on the other applicants. BUT THEN TELL ME I'M NOT. Rejection? Is way easier to handle when it's in your face and momentary, rather than slowly and silently slinking away. (Yes, people who reject other people, that sentiment goes for you too. Dating advice. You're welcome.) K thanks.
But I'm also annoyed because they left me with no way of getting in touch with the recruiter to follow up. So, they probably hate me now because they were sort of interested, and then saw other great candidates and pushed me aside, thinking "if she follows up, we'll know she's really serious and probably interview her then," and then I didn't follow up! Because I COULDN'T. Which is a genius move, Recruiter. Which makes the score JOB HUNTRESS: 1, RECRUITER: 2. Yes, I gave myself a point for being so fabulous about responding to all the losers when I was recruiting. And Mystery Recruiter obviously got their other point for beating me by just not picking me. Though I totally resent that point.
Back to the point (hehe... new meaning, same word!) though. I actually respect Mystery Recruiter for staying a mystery, as much as it frustrates the hell out of me. This is because I made the mistake of being too much of a people pleaser and left myself open to receiving emails with "questions or concerns" when people were applying for the job I was recruiting for. Let me just tell you this. When you have very few limitations on the types of people and the levels of experience needed to apply for the job, you get some INTERESTING people applying. And then, when those interesting people are overexcited or upset or confused or think sending 18 emails will help their case, you end up with A SHIT TON OF ANNOYING, POINTLESS EMAILS. So, for the people like me, who would handle themselves well and send one follow up email in response to an application, it sucks. But for everyone else who applies and shouldn't be, it's truly genius.
And honestly, if I didn't already work with the company and contact my one contact person there about the position, I'd put a lot more effort into trying to find the right person to email. But, a) I don't want to burn bridges when I'm barely in the door already and b) I'm fairly certain the company will continue to grow as I continue to grow there, and I'm unusually optimistic about future opportunities. I know, I've probably got chronic wasting disease from touching a wild deer this weekend (SERIOUSLY) and it has already gone to my brain, causing unusual hopefulness and patience.
And now, to contradict everything I just said!!
I'm not sure I want to change my part time job into a full time job there.
WHAT??
Proof of my deer disease taking over? Perhaps.
But seriously. I love this job so far. And part of me wonders if it's because I have freedom with my choices there right now. I can pick when I want to work, how often I want to work, and what types of activities I want to work (for the most part). Which. Is. Awesome. So, if we take that away, will I start to feel run down, overworked, exhausted, and frustrated? Who really knows. Yes, it's a risk I'm willing to take. HOWEVER, it's also a chance I'd be willing to pass up. Provided there's another something new and awesome that comes around and makes me think wonderful thoughts about a job that's fun and exciting and challenging and enjoyable enough to not need Hulu and internet access and short work days to survive. If that new possibility also allows me to still have my part time job, even better! If not, it better be effing worth it.
And yes, maybe I'm writing this because someday I want to use this blog in my portfolio as a writing sample and I need the job opportunity reading this to know I won't leave them for something full time that opens up at the other gig, if I'm still trucking along there. And also to let them know that I don't only just bash companies for having weird application/interviewing/recruting/hiring processes. (But I totally will if they do.)
But I'm writing it because it's the truth. (And that's serious, any job opportunity people reading this!)
Job huntressing isn't always about the shitty interviews or crappy boring day jobs. It's about how I am huntressing for a job that just makes me HAPPY , damn it! And yes, that really is the moral of this story.
Now if only I could find myself something that has a great health plan (with the new free...umm...very-specific-type-of-prescription mandate please!!), matching 401K option, and sweet PTO... that also allows me to enjoy fall football weekends without too much interruption. Yes, I just got ridiculously excited for football to start and plan on spending every Saturday and Sunday watching my teams kick ass. And yes, I'm also currently reading the first book in the "Song of Ice and Fire" series and getting excited to see a live orchestral concert of the soundtrack of the first Lord of the Rings movie. I don't fit stereotypes. So sue me. (Ok, but actually, a lot of the time, I do).
I applied for a full time position with my currently part time second job, and haven't heard back at all. At. All. Which, as you should recall, is a pet peeve of mine (see the middle of this post for reference: http://jobhuntressing.blogspot.com/2011/05/what-have-i-done-sweet-jesus-what-have.html ).
Which causes a dilemma. Because, you see, here I am, working a part time job I really truly enjoy, so much so that I want to get hired on full time so that I can make this shindig my career! And now this job has put me in a very awkward position. Because I didn't hear back at all. And that annoys me, to put it lightly. (Which, in their defense, I got an immediate and generic response to my application saying they'd contact me if I "was a good match." Which, um, I work there. So I certainly hope I am. So it's really not much of a defense. Sorry. I'm a picky former recruiter SOB.)
I'm annoyed not only because they didn't even say, sorry, we've gone with other more qualified candidates (which, having found out some of my peers also applied, is a VERY valid statement). While I feel like I was actually a "good match", based on the listed qualifications, I really might not have been based on the other applicants. BUT THEN TELL ME I'M NOT. Rejection? Is way easier to handle when it's in your face and momentary, rather than slowly and silently slinking away. (Yes, people who reject other people, that sentiment goes for you too. Dating advice. You're welcome.) K thanks.
But I'm also annoyed because they left me with no way of getting in touch with the recruiter to follow up. So, they probably hate me now because they were sort of interested, and then saw other great candidates and pushed me aside, thinking "if she follows up, we'll know she's really serious and probably interview her then," and then I didn't follow up! Because I COULDN'T. Which is a genius move, Recruiter. Which makes the score JOB HUNTRESS: 1, RECRUITER: 2. Yes, I gave myself a point for being so fabulous about responding to all the losers when I was recruiting. And Mystery Recruiter obviously got their other point for beating me by just not picking me. Though I totally resent that point.
Back to the point (hehe... new meaning, same word!) though. I actually respect Mystery Recruiter for staying a mystery, as much as it frustrates the hell out of me. This is because I made the mistake of being too much of a people pleaser and left myself open to receiving emails with "questions or concerns" when people were applying for the job I was recruiting for. Let me just tell you this. When you have very few limitations on the types of people and the levels of experience needed to apply for the job, you get some INTERESTING people applying. And then, when those interesting people are overexcited or upset or confused or think sending 18 emails will help their case, you end up with A SHIT TON OF ANNOYING, POINTLESS EMAILS. So, for the people like me, who would handle themselves well and send one follow up email in response to an application, it sucks. But for everyone else who applies and shouldn't be, it's truly genius.
And honestly, if I didn't already work with the company and contact my one contact person there about the position, I'd put a lot more effort into trying to find the right person to email. But, a) I don't want to burn bridges when I'm barely in the door already and b) I'm fairly certain the company will continue to grow as I continue to grow there, and I'm unusually optimistic about future opportunities. I know, I've probably got chronic wasting disease from touching a wild deer this weekend (SERIOUSLY) and it has already gone to my brain, causing unusual hopefulness and patience.
And now, to contradict everything I just said!!
I'm not sure I want to change my part time job into a full time job there.
WHAT??
Proof of my deer disease taking over? Perhaps.
But seriously. I love this job so far. And part of me wonders if it's because I have freedom with my choices there right now. I can pick when I want to work, how often I want to work, and what types of activities I want to work (for the most part). Which. Is. Awesome. So, if we take that away, will I start to feel run down, overworked, exhausted, and frustrated? Who really knows. Yes, it's a risk I'm willing to take. HOWEVER, it's also a chance I'd be willing to pass up. Provided there's another something new and awesome that comes around and makes me think wonderful thoughts about a job that's fun and exciting and challenging and enjoyable enough to not need Hulu and internet access and short work days to survive. If that new possibility also allows me to still have my part time job, even better! If not, it better be effing worth it.
And yes, maybe I'm writing this because someday I want to use this blog in my portfolio as a writing sample and I need the job opportunity reading this to know I won't leave them for something full time that opens up at the other gig, if I'm still trucking along there. And also to let them know that I don't only just bash companies for having weird application/interviewing/recruting/hiring processes. (But I totally will if they do.)
But I'm writing it because it's the truth. (And that's serious, any job opportunity people reading this!)
Job huntressing isn't always about the shitty interviews or crappy boring day jobs. It's about how I am huntressing for a job that just makes me HAPPY , damn it! And yes, that really is the moral of this story.
Now if only I could find myself something that has a great health plan (with the new free...umm...very-specific-type-of-prescription mandate please!!), matching 401K option, and sweet PTO... that also allows me to enjoy fall football weekends without too much interruption. Yes, I just got ridiculously excited for football to start and plan on spending every Saturday and Sunday watching my teams kick ass. And yes, I'm also currently reading the first book in the "Song of Ice and Fire" series and getting excited to see a live orchestral concert of the soundtrack of the first Lord of the Rings movie. I don't fit stereotypes. So sue me. (Ok, but actually, a lot of the time, I do).
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