"It's a job that's never started that takes the longest to finish."

Quick, lunch break post.

Yes, I said lunch break. Yes, that means I'm still temping.

And I've just been asked to stay on for two more full weeks, starting with today. So hey, I guess I'm employed for Passover and Easter (if that's confusing to you, don't worry about it. You obviously need to get to know me a little better) and leading up to the weekend before Tax Day. Sweet. I can splurge on chocolate rabbits, Maztoh, and maybe even some new Spain soccer attire for the pre-World Cup party I'm attending in two weekends. Fernando Torres will always be my hero.

However, now I'm running into a mental predicament. Because I came to terms with my second round of unemployment over the weekend, thinking how maybe doing straight up temp work wouldn't be the end of the world, and I could audition for more theatre or volunteer with PAWS at long last (although PAWS = me getting a puppy or seven, so I may need to wait on that one still) or start my serious acting agent hunt instead of my serious job hunt.

But nooooo, the minute I decide this forced-upon-me decision isn't so horrible, I have to put it on hold for another two weeks. Which will most likely consist of me thinking about how I want a freaking full time, permanent, secure job so I don't have to worry about LIFE every other day, or so I can continue to avoid the terrifying world of being a career-seeking actress (yes, this is me admitting that maybe sometimes I put off auditioning not for the reasons I say I do but because I am a pussy. Ugh. Unemployment makes you look at yourself and it is not a fun thing a lot of the time, let me tell you.), or so I can stop battling intensely in my brain about what the hell I'm doing with myself. And I mean a Skywalker vs Vader battle, where someone will lose a hand and someone will have to die, though hopefully with a nice little reconciliation at the end and maybe a ghost appearance that is NOT Hayden Christenson!

So that's why dragging out this temping position might not be good for me. Not because I don't want to do temp work, because maybe I do. Or because I'm not happy working again and making money, because I definitely am. But because my poor little brain never settles itself down and two more weeks means my current state of peace will last for about a day or two, and then I'll be on the phone in tears again with someone who loves me but who still probably hates dealing with sobby, whiny, insecure me.

Oh, and the title? It's a LOTR quote. This is why Tolkien is also my hero. And moreso than Torres (sorry buddy, but bring back the faux-hawk and then we can talk!).

"If no one will listen, if you decide to speak..."

A proud or shame-filled few of you may know these lyrics from the original Idol, Kelly Clarkson, but they're actually from the original song by the lovely Keri Noble. FYI.

Anyways, I'll tie this all in in a moment.

Here's what I briefly have to say to update you on my situation.

I don't know where I stand here, if I have a job after this temping thing is up, or if it's all coming to an end at the conclusion of the week. It's driving me nuts, because I'm really enjoying my time here so far, the people are great, and I feel like I actually have room to grow if I get to stick around for a while. So, the suspense is killing me. I'm having mild breakdowns at inconvenient times worrying about possibly having to find work again after a tease of a great job. I'm constantly over-analyzing anything and everything I hear, I see, I'm told, I do, I'm asked, etc. while working. I'm obsessing about what I need to wear to make an impression. I'm hating my allergies for making me look like I'm sick and gross and snotty.

And I'm absolutely terrified of asking if I'm staying around or not. Because I feel like it's not going to be the answer I want, and therefore, I don't want to know because it will break my poor little heart.

Not to mention, I've completely given up my unemployment supplements for this gig, and I'm almost positive I can't get them back if I'm on my own again, so I'll be out on the streets and panicked about money MORE than I was before. Which leads to the immediate assumption that I'll be moving home, living off the folks, and growing fat and sloppy playing video games and being friendless in the wilderness of the backroads of Oshkosh. Very valid fears.

Anyways, tomorrow I'm going to grow the balls I need to just ask if I'm staying past Friday or not (That's what the song lyrics were for... me. To encourage me to speak. Cheesy, yes. But totally motivational. Listen to the Keri Noble version. NOW.). And then, since I'm going to Madison for the weekend, I'm either celebrating, mourning, or drinking away the frustration of being strung along for a longer period of time (but also the joy of still having an income for the time being so I can spend that money on booze!).

And still the hunt goes on, just in the waiting-in-the-tree-for-the-deer-to-walk-by kind of way (What!? I'm from the Midwest, I'm allowed to use horrible deer hunting metaphors!).

Excuse me, I believe you have my stapler...

Milton may have been laid off and never told about it, which isn't what happened here, but we both have been moved around all over the place without a lot of regard for what we're interested in.

Yes, I just compared myself to Milton Waddams from Office Space. And now we're going to pretend I didn't just do that, and move on.

Staffing Agencies. I love to hate them, but they're the only ones who can get me a bunch of interviews sometimes.

And those interviews can lead to some great stories, let me tell you.

To start, when I threw myself into this job hunting process, I was getting calls based on my newly updated resume on Careerbuilder and the like, and lots of those were from staffing agencies who either saw my resume or who I unknowingly submitted an application to when I applied for a job somewhere. So, I spoke with two staffing agencies about different positions probably the first week I started looking. One was about a job that I was not interested in, but who wanted to have me come in and interview for other jobs they had open that I might be better for. The other was for a job that sounded ok to me.

So, off I went to both agencies in one week (I hope they're not reading this, because I don't know if I am technically allowed to have two agencies working with me!)

The first one, for the job I didn't want, was kind of like my previous experience with a staffing agency in Madison... except this time I didn't end up going in for an interview and actually end up signing paperwork for the job I was apparently starting a few days later. Well, that kind of did happen. But I'll get back to that. Anyways, it was a dingy, behind-the-times office where I filled out a shit-ton of paperwork, wrote my SSN about 30 times (not nerve-wreaking at all!), and had to take time-consuming and dumb tests about Microsoft Office and my typing skills. At least they didn't send me to a doctor to cut 100 strands of hair off my head at the root though... I'm not interested in having weird baldish spots under my hair again.

After all of this, they start sending me to a variety of interviews for different jobs. Mind you, I told them right away that while I'm on severance pay still, I'm not lowering my standards for positions, meaning I don't want to take a pay cut or work temp jobs... at least not until the need for paychecks becomes real. Well, this information is apparently not important. Because I don't think I went on a single interview that fit within those requests, most of which I didn't know until it was too late. But hey, they get paid when I get paid... so I see where the priorities lie.

First, they sent me to interview for an office manager for an advertising firm. This one was actually not a bad one at all. However, I was pretty much given an entirely different job description from the staffing agency and went into my interview believing the info I knew was correct. And kind of made an ass of myself for it. I had been led to believe it was an 8-5 Monday through Friday position, and hourly wages, which is ideal for my theatre pursuits. And so I talked about doing theatre in the evenings. Turns out it was a salaried position that expects some evening availability. Which I totally have, but spoke as if I didn't. And screwed it up royally. So, I quickly learned to ask more questions about the position when talking to the staffing agency, and use more discretion when interviewing.

Second, I was sent to do a 'working interview' for a media company. I was told that I get paid for the day, and it's basically a test of my skills and personality and if they like me, they might ask me to come back the next day. I was also told this was for an HR position, which is what I'm trying to find. So... awesome!!

Ummm yeah... not so much. Turns out it was strictly a temp position that had nothing to do with HR and basically consisted of me answering 8 phone calls and filing their receipts from 2008 onward. And the best part? They apparently thought it was my first day on the job and I was introduced to the whole company at their staff meeting. Mid-morning I realized it was not what I thought it was and at lunch I called the staffing agency. When I finally spoke to the woman, she said they JUST changed their requirements for the HR position and so I'm no longer qualified, but they liked me and wanted to take me on as a temp for tasks like the ones I had been doing. I was kind of furious at this point. Then, I had to act as a middle man between the staffing agency and their client, explaining what I had been told of the position and how I wasn't currently looking for temp work. However, because I felt guilty about it all, I told her I'd work out the rest of the week so I didn't leave them hanging. Finally, I spent the rest of the day filing for them, until the woman there told me that they decided to bring on someone new the next day I was free to go. Ridiculous. Now (two weeks later), I am still battling it out with the staffing company so I get paid for that "working interview." Oy vey.

Third, and so far, last for this agency, they sent me to an interview for an executive assistant position. But it's not just for your average company. Oh no, no, it's for a self-help guru's organization. Seriously. And I had to do these extensive 'personality' tests before I interviewed. Which of course aren't compatible with a Mac, so something got screwed up and I had to sort it all out with the agency before I could do the interview. So, it gets all arranged and I show up at the office. I'm led into an office with another guy who's competing for the job. And we're told we have to do some more 'personality tests.' So, we start out with a timed one, that's more about math and English than my personality, but whatever. The woman comes in and takes those away, and gives us another one. This one is a true or false one, and no joke, the first question T/F statement is "I think it's okay to shoplift on occasion." It continues on for 49 more statements, including two in a row that were "I have been noticing changes in my body" and "I like guns." By these two, I'm laughing out loud. The dude and I both finish and we're kind of joking about the questions, and I told him my favorite was the gun one. His response? 'I feel like I should say true since I'm sort of a Republican." I have no comment in response to this. Then I start looking around the office. And I see Jesus. EVERYWHERE. There are about 7 different Jesus statues and pictures. My level of uncomfortableness has hit a new high. I don't know whether to laugh or cry or run away. Well, turns out, I didn't need to make the decision. They did it for me. The woman finally comes back in the room... oh, and this was probably important to know, but they had said at the beginning that if you pass the 'personality testing' you'd move on to an interview... and says "Thank you Nicole. You're free to go."

I failed the first personality test. She didn't even see my T/F answers. I have no idea what happened. And apparently, they don't let the staffing agency know how people pass or fail (great use of having a staffing agency send you potential hires, huh?) so I truly have no idea what occurred.

So, I of course came up with my own theory. They had cameras in the room and saw my panicked face at the Republican comment and the Jesuses, and realized I am a liberal Jew and kicked me the hell out of there. There's no other logical explanation.

And that was my experience with the first staffing agency I visited. They haven't called me in over a week now. Granted, I'm not their ideal person to find a job for I'm sure, since I'm definitely picky. But also? I am kind of grateful that they're ignoring me. Because, while having lots of interviews lined up is great, it was obvious they weren't going to hook me up with a job I'd enjoy. But I'll keep you posted if something new comes up, because I am not one to turn down interviews, especially now that this blog is up and running. And we all know it'll be a good story if it's coming from this agency!

Oh, and the other staffing company? Great office, well-kept, up-to-date, friendly and younger employees. But apparently lacking positions that are a good fit for me, as I haven't heard a thing since that first interview. I wasn't a good fit for the job I went in to interview for I guess, but they asked a ton of questions about me and what I'm looking for, and we even had mutual friends. So, I'll take not hearing from them over going on pointless interviews any day!

And thus far, my experience with staffing companies. I am now avoiding applying for positions that come through agencies, which is frustrating sometimes, but I just can't get tangled up in more than two at a time, especially if they're like the first one. And also because they take your social security number right away, and I just don't want that all over the place, ya know?

So, next up then? The three-week-long-process-so-far, only-potential-position I am still a contender for...