Guys, I really hate New Years.
Ok, wait. Let me rephrase that.
I really hate New Years when there's no change whatsoever that makes it seem new.
I was thinking about this the other day, and it's actually kind of amazing that this is the first New Years (do I really have to capitalize that? Is it that kind of holiday??) in a long time where I have no feelings, good or bad, toward the new year. Transitioning into 2011 was good because my grandpa died in 2010. Transitioning into 2010 was good because my grandma (other side) died in 2009. I mean, the New Years part of it was good because we were getting out of that death year; little did I know it was going to be another one. Wah wah wah. Transitioning into 2009 was a little more depressing, since Grandma was sick, so maybe that wasn't a great New Years? But I had a boyfriend for the first time (yep, I'm totally only 19 years old right now, so it's completely normal that I had a boyfriend for the first time in 2008), so New Years Eve was really exciting that year! And I had just gotten a new job too (which then laid me off a year later and started this whole thing)! So yes, it was exciting! Plus, it's not like I knew she was going to die a week into 2009, so I couldn't have been that upset around New Years. MOVING ON. Into 2008 was a few weeks after I graduated, so that was a big ole New Years. And into 2007 was good because it was my first New Years Eve in Madison. Into 2006 was FANTASTIC because I didn't have braces in college anymore and I literally repeated all New Years Eve, "2006 is going to be my year!" I mean, I don't think it really was all that amazing in the end, but it was an exciting time! Do you want me to keep going???
Also, sidenote, and I am not at all joking about this... I just used Facebook timeline to make sure I wasn't getting years messed up. Seriously. Jesus. It's so embarrassing, so I forced myself to share it. My brain gets muddled sometimes guys. But also, wow, timeline isn't all that horrible. It can confirm when your family members died!
Too depressing with all my dark humor about death? (Alliteration!) Sorry. The good news is, none of my family members died in 2011 (unless you count extended family dogs, I guess. Sorry Hobbes!). So that made it less of a thing I wanted to escape? Which is a good thing? But then I think about things to look forward to in 2012, and I feel like it should be a good year, with travels and family time and seeing lots of friends and "The Book of Mormon" coming to Chicago near the end of the year. But there's just nothing that made me want to jump on a chair and yell "YES! IT'S 2012!!!!!" I mean, I'm totally curious about 12/21/12, just like everyone. But I don't think that's something people are legitimately excited about, enough to shout about it. Well, besides the crazies who will definitely be populating street corners in large forces and screaming at me to find Jesus because I'm going to Hell.
Anyways, the point is, it just doesn't feel like a new year. It feels like I had a break and then I came back to everything exactly as it was. And I can't decide if that's a bad, depressing thing, or actually a good, steady, normal thing.
There is one thing I have decided, though.
2012 is the year I get a new job. A real job. A job that excites me. A job that I work hard at and stay late for, because I want to. A job that starts a career.
And yes, six days into 2012, I have already had a major breakdown about this. Tears, shutting down, self-pitying, frustration with the way the world goes, the works.
I hate applying for jobs. HATE IT.
Here's the thing. I don't look good on paper. I've had a mod podge of jobs, which, when combined, have taught me a crap load about a lot of great and useful things. Like event planning. And recruiting. And administrative tasks. And communication skills. However, when skimmed over on a resume, look like a lost, post-graduate kid who has no direction at all.
So, that's when a cover letter should do the work to show how awesome I am, right!?
Wrong.
I can't write cover letters for a million dollars. (Unless you want to pay me a million dollars to do it.) I'm a creative writer. I like to use big words, and yes, I often find them in a thesaurus because that's how I learn new, impressive words! But I take those thesaurus-ed words and actually use them too, I promise! I am a self-depraving writer. I like to make fun of myself because I think it's more amusing and relateable than talking about how fanfuckingtastic I am. If you're amused by my self-mockery, I'm feeling good about myself. So, does this creative, self-depraving cover letter sound like someone you want to hire to plan your corporate events?
Actually, yes, kind of. But that's the opposite of my point here.
So, yeah, let's just say I wouldn't hire them either. So...because I assume most hiring folks aren't well versed in the world of sarcasm in cover letters, especially when they may not know that person at all and might not realize it's not at all serious, and maybe they think their employees should be serious about the job... I try to write a cover letter that mentions what I have learned and what I can do in relation to what you're looking for. You know, instead of writing something oozing in dark humor about my dead grandparents, because that's just a little too risky. AND SO MY COVER LETTER IS RIDICULOUSLY BORING. Clearly. Cover letters without jokes about knowing when your Grandpa died thanks to Facebook's new timeline profile is just never going to be exciting.
And thus, with a lost-in-life resume and a generic, blah cover letter, I get thrown in the garbage all the time. I have to. And yet, I can't seem to work out how to fix it. Basically, I need someone who thinks I'm awesome to take my cover letter and rewrite it in a way that shows me off more. And then not show that to me, because I'll get really awkward and feel like I'm lying about a lot, and want to take all of that out again.
But seriously, show it to me first, because I'm not sending it off blindly.
The worst part is, I'm really awesome at interviews. And since I just went on about how I'm self-depraving and don't do well talking myself up in writing, you know I'm being honest here. I can read people really well, answer questions honestly and make it clear that I'm what they're looking for (unless I'm not what they're looking for). (Or they're not what I'm looking for, which has been the case way too many times here). I can make my experience seem so much more than what it looks like on paper, unless they legitimately want someone with 10+ years of experience in the industry, which is dumb because that person's totally burnt out. Kidding! Sort of.
So, wait! Does this mean I have not just one but TWO New Years (damn capitalization! Are you really necessary!?) resolutions!?? To get an awesome job in 2012, and to also perfect the art of resume and cover letter writing!? Wow. This was a productive blog post.
And now, I declare before you all, that the job hunt of 2012 is ON. I will be applying, I will be networking, I will be selling myself where I can (NOT sexually...jeeeeeeze, perv, why'd you go there?), and I will turn my no-direction life into a powerful career where I will later win awards that I can place on the mantle a la Cam and Mitch (yes, mine will be the fishing trophy).
Also, this means I'm blogging a lot more too. You're welcome, loyal fans!
