Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me!

OUTRAGEOUS!

Remember that email I copied on here last week?? Meaning, the one in the post right below this one??

Well, that was the end of that correspondence.

BUT..........

I was doing the usual, applying all over the internet yesterday, Craigslist included. And I see a posting for a receptionist position with a vet clinic downtown. Ummmm, awesome! I can work with dogs but can't end up adopting all of them at the end of the day like I probably would if I volunteered at a shelter like I want to do?? Yes please!

So I apply, including a cute and witty sentence in my cover letter...again... but this time about how I know they said they wanted someone who loves animals so that they could talk to the owners about their pets in their job post, but I hope they don't mind someone who will talk to the pets as well, as I'm the girl who stops to say hi to a dog out on a walk! Hahahahaha. Sooooo funny, am I right?

Anyways, I send it off, pretty much completely hopeless because it's Craigslist and nothing ever comes of it. But hey, maybe this will be the one!

Along with that hopelessness, I apparently was also completely clueless.

Let me show you the response I got:

Great news!


We've taken some time to look through the applications. And we've decided to make you a part of our staff. We'd love for you to come in for an interview.


We are still REQUIRED to run credit and background checks on all our employees. This is because we have a lot of private and sensitive information lying around in our office, and the nature of the work itself.


Visit this link to get the credit report; it's free of course. Simply email us the verification number--we don't require you to send us your private info via email. But we WILL need your verification number to set up your interview. The BG check will be done in person.


E-mail me if you have any questions. Look forward to seeing you soon!

--

Angela Franklin, Manager

Marvin DVM

angela@marvindvm.com

www.marvindvm.com

I AM NOT KIDDING!!!

Word for fricking word. And I highly suggest you check out the website from my previous post and this one, just so you can see what FAKE COMPANIES look like. This one is especially great because of all the cute pictures of animals, as if they really are a vet's office, but yet the Contact Us section is mysteriously "under construction."

WOULDN'T YOU WANT TO ALLOW PEOPLE TO CONTACT YOU EVEN IF FOR SOME ODD REASON YOU DON'T HAVE AN OFFICE LOCATION YET IF YOU WERE ACTUALLY A REAL COMPANY???

Yeah, that's what I thought.

I haven't decided if I want to respond to this one or not. I kind of want to forward the one from "Diego" as a response and have the subject heading be "CAUGHT RED HANDED" or something like that.

But I probably won't. I may report them both to Craigslist as a scam though. But I probably won't do that either.

I'd rather just continue to look for a job, and a real one at that.

Craigslist, you are this close to my shitlist right now....

¡Viva España!

Still no news about the job. Looks like I'm not going to get word until next week now. The suspense is KILLING ME.

BUT, I need to update you on that soccer club job I applied for.

Granted, I didn't think I had much of a chance of getting something good out of it because it was on Craigslist and I wrote that ridiculously-cheerleader-like rhetorical question in the middle of my cover letter. However, I did not actually think it would be a sketchy gig.

Silly, silly me.

Anyways I got this emailed response today:

Great news!


We've taken some time to look through the applications. And we've decided to make you a part of our staff. We'd love for you to come in for an interview.


We are still REQUIRED to run credit and background checks on all our employees. This is because we have a lot of private and sensitive information lying around in our office, and the nature of the work itself.


Visit this link to get the credit report; it's free of course. Simply email us the verification number--we don't require you to send us your private info via email. But we WILL need your verification number to set up your interview. The BG check will be done in person.


E-mail me if you have any questions. Look forward to seeing you soon!
--
Diego Juarez
www.childsoccerpros.com
diego@childsoccerpros.com

Let me just point out of all of issues with this email...

1. The first paragraph. All of it. They've looked through all the applications (it was posted two days ago, so I'm assuming, based on the state of unemployment in Chicago right now, more people are applying every minute still). They then decided to make me a part of their staff. And now they want to interview me. But why would you interview me if I'm already a part of the staff?? That just seems redundant!

2. I'm going to switch up the way this was written, because I think the emphasis belongs on a different word here. "We are STILL required to run credit and background checks..." I'm sorry, but that word "still" seems to scream WE'VE HIRED SKETCHY PEOPLE BEFORE AND IT IS STILL AN ISSUE!!

2b. Let's talk about credit checks for a moment. I have been asked to do one for a job interview so far in my months of huntressing. I think it's weird to begin with, since my credit has nothing to do with my capability to succeed at a job, but I guess I get it? Plus, that one was for a bank. And then they hired internally, so I never got the credit check anyways. I have barely any credit to begin with, so credit checks are not only pointless to do on me but also hurt me more than someone with a lot of credit. So thanks, but no thanks.

2c. Now let's relate this credit check to the position I applied for. A reception position, in which the description stated the duties were (also a direct quote) "setting appointments, taking phone calls and performing other administrative work." No working with cash, no relation to money at all. And what's this 'sensitive' information that's lying around the office and how come a background check doesn't cover that? Weeeiiirrddd.

3. What's up with linking me to a site for a "free" credit check and then telling me they need my verification number in order to set up the interview. And why the generic email to tell me all this? Why not talk to me over the phone for a minute and then decide on the next step?? COMMON SENSE PEOPLE!

Anyways, because I've got nothing to lose here, and this is obviously an email they send out to every applicant because they're probably not a real company and they're just trying to steal your identity (the website they gave me the link for just furthers this thought), I thought, well, how about I send a response, since I'm sure this is a valid email address for an actually employee of a real life soccer club!

So, this is what I sent him:

Diego,

If at all possible, I would love to come in for an interview prior to having a credit check ran. Because it can affect my credit, I'd rather do it as a last step in the interview process, where I'll have a better sense of the position and your company, and you'll have a better sense of how well I fit into the position.

Please let me know if that is possible, and if so, I'd love to schedule an interview for next week!

Thank you

Guaranteed that's the end of our communicating right there.

But, if not, you know I'll be letting you know. I'm HOPING this turns into an actual interview, just because it would end up being a kick ass story for this blog. Even if I'm employed by then, I'd totally still do it. Just for you!

Ummmm... PS. Spain's my World Cup team. If you couldn't figure it out. Now let's all send healing thoughts to Fernando Torres so he can play this summer!!!

"Faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, able to leap tall buildings in a single bound."

So, apparently I'm working faster than the speed of light here.

Read: I have nothing to do.

I'm on my second to last day temptressing (!!! My friend Laura coined that term, and I totally owe her for it, since it's kind of genius AND I was looking for a different way of saying 'temp' since I am saying it allllll the time right now!) in this office, I'm still waiting to hear back about that real job, and I'm GOING INSANE. I finished all the busywork they gave me, and now I'm just sitting here, waiting for the phone to ring.

This is what I have accomplished today so far:
A) Caught up on reading my favorite blog (shoutout to The Frisky!)
B) Applied for a receptionist position with a soccer agency/club... and yes, I am at the point in my job hunt where I am taking risks and by that I mean I, and I quote, wrote "Who else is looking foward to this summer's World Cup??" in my cover letter
C) Looked at apartments on craigslist, you know, to prepare myself for my move in FIVE MONTHS
D) Played multiple games of solitaire online
E) Visited Facebook more times than I wish to share
F) Looked at upcoming auditions and determined that I can't audition for any and therefore wasted a dollar to look at that info on the website
G) Updated my resume
H) And now, I have completed a new blog post.

And this is what I have discovered about myself:

While I am extremely lazy and I like to lay around and watch TVDs(©) (Yes, I just copied the copywrite symbol in here to claim I own the word TVD, which I did in fact make up and will tell everyone when it becomes common knowledge... or else I will really own it when my book of this blog is published) or read or play Tetris on my phone, I also apparently need brain stimulation to get me through a day.

Don't worry though, I don't need much! Filing hundreds papers alphabetically, for instance, is enough brain stimulation to keep me occupied for a day and a half, happy as a lark. Which, getting back to why I work at the speed of light here, was thought to be enough to occupy me all week. But I am too anal rententive and organized and therefore I totally schooled them and got it done as fast as I could! So, HA!

Except the joke's on me. Because, while they love me and now probably want me to temp for them everytime they need someone, I hope to have a permanent job before they would need me again, so all my sucking up was (or hopefully will be) pointless.

Ok, I wasn't really sucking up, I was just doing my work. But that equals the same thing here?

Anyways, my point is, I have nothing to do, the phone hasn't rang once as I've typed this all out, and my Pandora isn't even making things that much better. I'm really just writing now in order to keep myself occupied. I have nothing else to say. I'm just THAT BORED.

I mean, don't get me wrong, I actually do like this place, though it takes me back to my days working in Madison at an office filled with old, overweight ladies who thought business casual = no jeans = totally acceptable to wear sweatpants. This place is more Chicago than that, but it's got a similar vibe. Still, it's not too bad and it's nice to have a job and to be getting a paycheck, no matter the size at this point. But, I would take a cabinet of papers to be alphabetized or a busy phone line or A PERSON TO TALK TO any day.

And on that note, I think I'm going to go check and see if there's a new blog post on thefrisky.com or if someone posted something on Facebook and there's something new on my news feed! Joy.

Let's hope I'm back on here tomorrow with glorious news about my job situation...

"If you can talk it, you can sing it! You can lay down the rhythm and bring it!"

Okay, I'm sorry I've been MIA.

Really, not writing in here has been killlllliiinnnggg me. When you've got nothing but yourself and a computer to keep you company all day long, you get lonely. And when you get lonely, you want to talk to your friends. And when your friends all have jobs and can't talk to you at 1:42pm on a Tuesday afternoon, you turn to your blog for comfort.

Except here's the conundrum... I'm on hold about a job. And when I'm on hold about a job, I don't write about it. I don't want to risk a thing and I definitely don't want to jinx anything. And I am ALWAYS concerned about jinxing things... it's probably my number one concern in life. Seriously.

Anyways, because of that, I've kept my little mouth... or, I guess, my fingers... shut. But now it's been over a week and I just can't do it anymore!

So, while I'm still going to keep mum about my interviews with the company until I know whether or not they liked me (and yes, this is the infamous group interview I mentioned earlier. You'll be happy to know I made it to round two! And, of course, there were many awkward moments caused by yours truly that I am waiting patiently to pass on to you.), I can talk about the other aspects of my huntressing.

Rejoice! Rejoice!

Anyways, I'm currently temping. Not with the same agency as before, this time with the one that hooked me up with the interview that I'm still waiting on hearing back about. They had a receptionist gig open up for this week and since they knew I wouldn't hear back til the end of the week, and if I got the gig, it would start for a week or two more, they hooked me up. Sweet deal. I have an income for a week! I can pay my cable bill (oh shoot, I need to do that today).

Before I talk about my temping joys, let me talk about my week of job huntressing prior to having something to do during the days.

Aka, "The Lonely Time in the 80 Degree Weather."

I know, poor poor me, right? I was not working when it was basically summer in Chicago last week, and had to spend my days outside, sipping iced tea and beer while I frequented the online job boards.

MY LIFE IS SO HORRIBLE YOU GUYS.

Ok, so that's a lie. It kind of rocked. I mean, I didn't have anything to do last week til Friday, and that's when it got cool again. Talk about timing.

However, in my defense, let me put you in my shoes for a moment. And not the horrible, bloody heels that ripped up my poor feet (and I mean literally, as I have like 7 scars on each to prove it) as I made the stupid decision not to bring flats with me when I had to walk 8 blocks and I knew they didn't fit correctly. Here's a not-so-helpful tip... Dunkin Donuts napkins do not make them fit much better at all, they just stick out of the sides awkwardly while you trudge through the wind like a hairy troll because it's of course the one day you decided to wear your hair down in over a week and it's the WINDY CITY (and yes, I know that's not why it's called that, but it FITS. So there.)

Anyways, not those shoes. You can try on the flip flops I wore to the bar Thursday afternoon. And yes I said the bar. This is why, though I totally got to enjoy the weather and I have the farmer's tan to prove it, it wasn't all that fun.

I was the girl at the bar on Thursday at 3pm drinking a beer alone, with her computer.

LOSER.

Not to mention, possibly borderline alcoholic, because who drinks alone while job hunting on a weekday afternoon??

Well I do. And I did it because I couldn't find one damn coffee shop within a reasonable walking distance from my apartment that a) had outdoor seating, b) had free wifi, and c) was in the sun. And C wasn't even that important. So, I see that Potbellys has outdoor seating and I stop in to check out the wifi situation. They say it's pretty easy to pick up signals, especially if you're outside, so I buy myself a milkshake, get all situated, and pop open the laptop. And proceed to pick up not a single signal. Well crap. Luckily, I just kept trying stuff out and ended up getting one that was relatively strong. So the milkshake wasn't all for nothing.

Well, as I'm sitting there, still this other place's internet, and the sun ducks behind the building, I look over to the place I'm picking up the signal from. And it's like a mecca, glowing in the sun across the street, lots of outdoor tables, wide open windows, just overall summer afternoon weather gloriousness.

But it's a bar.

And it was 1:30pm.

And I was alone.

At 3pm I'm uncomfortable, the internet is dragging, it's not as pleasant in the shade as it was in the sun, and my milkshake is long gone.

So, I decide (and yes, this thought literally went through my head), well, it's 5:00pm somewhere. And I cross the street.

I debated ordering a lemonade for about 4 seconds, until the waitress said Miller was on special for $2.50. And at $2.50 and when you're sitting at a table where you have a devoted server, you don't just order one.

To make it even better, a woman and her toddler daughter decided to grab an early dinner around 4, and chose the table right next to me. I'm the nerdy computer lush. And because the kid was a toddler, you know she's gotta ask the question 'Why?' every two seconds. And you just know she had to ask her mom about me, and why I was there with my computer and what I was doing. Plus, since it was a bar, I didn't think it'd be polite to put in my headphones like I'd do at a coffee shop, so I couldn't even fake that I wasn't able to hear people talking about me.

When you're at a bar with a computer, people definitely talk about you.

Needless to say, you go home feeling a little lonely (and a little buzzed) at the end of it all, wishing you had some unemployed friends. Or at least strippers, who worked the night shift and could spend their days with you. Or something along those lines.

And I couldn't even turn to my bloggy pie (okay, NEVER saying that ever again, I promise. I thought it'd be kind of funny, but it's just really pathetic and kind of horribly disgusting. Therefore, I left it for you all to witness.) because I had nothing interesting to say outside of the things I would end up jinxing by saying them (And yes, I am already convinced I've jinxed everything from these casual references. I told you it was a problem.).

So, anyways, it's nice to be temping this week because of that haunting loneliness drinking alone will bring about. And it's also chillier.

The temp job. It's not too shabby, just incredibly slow. I answer phones and transfer calls. And I have NO IDEA what I am talking about. This office deals with the medical field. Enough said.

So, I fake it, because I'm an awesome actress like that. And I am so cheerful and bubbly and smiley it's nauseating, but it covers up my absolute lack of knowledge. Or at least allows me to present myself as a total ditz, so my lack of knowledge makes sense.

I started last Friday, after getting a call at 9am about taking it on. My first on-call experience as a temp employee! What fun! I get to the office, I'm told what I'm supposed to do with answering the phones in less than 5 minutes, and I'm on my own. Not intimidating at all.

Actually, it wasn't too bad. Outside of the fact that I couldn't access the computer yet, and there for sat there, waiting for the phone to ring, for over 5 hours. Guess how many times it rang!

About once every minute or so??

No way Jose!

At least 50 times through out the afternoon?

Ha.

Cut that in half?

I wish.

10-15 times in a five hour space?

YOU BET YOUR BOTTOM DOLLAR!

You have to understand, the last time I worked in an office where I took incoming calls, I was answering the phone every 30 seconds or so. Just a little bit of a difference there.

It was kind of excruciating. Especially after I finished my book and had two hours left to go. Yes, I was 'able' to read a book (and by 'able', I mean, I was alone the whole time with very few people walking by, so I just did it in order to combat losing my mind. I think they'd rather me keep my senses than take an extra second to grab the phone), so I really can't complain about my job here. But those last few hours just DRAGGED. It was like being in middle school again, waiting for the final bell to ring. It took, as so emphatically stated in the Sandlot, FOR.EV.ER.

Luckily, as you may have figured out, since I am writing a blog on a computer right now, I have access to the computer, and today has gone remarkably faster. Whew.

Too bad I have to take breaks though and take 30 minutes of an unpaid lunch. Seriously, I know no one, this place always seems empty, and I don't have a desk to sit at on my breaks. So you know what I do? I stand awkwardly in the "kitchen"/copy room. Aka, the room with the copy equipment, a fridge, coffee pot, and microwave. No sink, no table, no chairs. Just me, pretending to do something on my phone so I look busy, trying to use up my 15 minute break, wishing I could combine them into one paid 30-minute lunch break so I can work an 8 hour day. I'm going to look into that, actually. The extra twenty-some dollars could go a long way in my life right now.

So, anyways, that's what I have been up to. I can't wait to share the awkward moments I had/witnessed in my group interview, how I talked about thong leotards, my stuttering through conversations, my repeated use of the oh-so-professional word 'awesome' and more details about the high heels! So let's hope I get the job, so I can tell you all about it in a hilarious, upbeat light instead of depressing, cynical gloom.

Oh, let's face it, it'll be cynical either way.

Also, just to keep you salivating, if I do get the job (Oh Jesus, the jinxing fear is getting out of CONTROL right now!!), I have an audition with an awesomely awkward theatre company I've worked with in the past, so you know I'll have stories to share about auditions starting right away!

Plus, I may submit a video for Glee. Hence the South Park quote for a title.

Hahahahahahahaha.

I'll leave you ROTFL, LOLing, and LMAO at that one.

"Soy un perdedor..."

I have been a bbbiiiigggggg hypocrite. Aka, a loser baby. Aka, the Beck lyrics in the title.

So, I've been reading through some of my more recent posts here, and let's just say I am unhappy with the tone of them.

I set out to write this sucker because of the encouragement I was getting from my friends to share the stories I had been telling them about some of the ridiculous interviews I had been going on. Now that I look it over, a few months later, I discovered something.

My hypocrisy.

The last few post have been more about my bitching and moaning, and less about the awkwardness that I bring about in my life sometimes. And I'm not okay with that.

I'm sure you've guessed this already, but I used to be a journal writer. Big shocker, I know, right? Anyways, I would write in my journal about all the crap I was dealing with, but rarely about all the good things that happened in my life. I mean, that's what it's for, isn't it? A private place to vent about the people and places and things that are frustrating you. And I definitely used it for that majority of the time.

And when blogs first came about, and people started writing things for the world to see, especially private and personal things, I was appalled. WHO WOULD DO THAT? Why would you want to publish that stuff for others to read about. I'm telling you, even Anne Frank would have been appalled by the blogging world. She wrote about embarrassing stuff too, and as much as she wanted to be known, I doubt she really wanted people to see the parts where she was pining away for Peter and complaining about all the people she lived behind that bookshelf with! And I can make this assumption because I'm a girl. And (you knew this one was coming) a Jew. And I'm going to Israel this summer, which makes me an even better Jew! But that's another story for another time.

Anyways, my point is, I thought that people bitching and moaning across a blog was ridiculous and disgusting and annoying and I hated those people.

Ruh roh.

I mean, maybe you don't see it as a big whine session as I do, since I'm my toughest critic (and that's not just a saying. For me, that's 100% true). And you've apparently been coming back for more, so I haven't driven you off yet. But I see it as that, especially recently.

And so I apologize. I apologize for making assumptions about things that happen in interviews and interactions with others, and then complaining about how rude and crass and spiteful they were, without really thinking twice about where those things were actually coming from. I apologize for using my own personal anger and frustration with the way my life has been going lately to judge situations I've been lucky to be placed in. I mean, although I've been out of work for 3 months now and I'm at a point where I have to take anything that's offered to me... no matter how low paying or brain-cell-killing it is... I also have had a ton of opportunities to interview for some great jobs (and of course some not-so-great ones too), I've been able to make money for a brief time period so that even though I've got nada for a current income I at least can survive for a time, and I've had a huge and marvelous support system through all of it. You all included.

So, basically, what I'm trying to say is that I need to shut the hell up about situations that were really only bad because I twisted them around into my own dark, dismal idea of the world. And start talking more about the situations where I'm given advice by a brute of a man who thinks he's a sweetheart, or where I'm told the office is not PC at all, or where computers are an unnecessary extravagance that take away from the person-to-person aspect of interacting. Or I at least need to get back to my normal and pleasant state of mind where I'm just really self-effacing, and not ripping apart everyone else while I stand on my pedestal laughing sinisterly (I looked it up and I can use it as an adverb, don't worry) and stroking my mustache while everyone else tries to live up to my incredibly high standards but continues to fail. Muhahahahaha! Oh wait, I'm NOT doing that anymore. Whoops. I'll hold back on the evil chuckle. Sorry.

So, don't fret, this isn't the end of my blog. I would never do that to all seven of you loyal readers!

I'm just going to stop being a whiny, hypocritical baby and get back to my roots. Meaning my tone from 15 posts earlier or so, where I told my stories in a funny, non-bitchy, non-woe-is-me kind of way. I can't claim this bad karma is coming from nowhere if I'm putting it upon myself, can I? And who ever wants to say they brought about bad karma?? NO ONE! You want it to simply happen (well you don't want it to happen really, but if it's going to, you definitely don't want to be responsible for it!), and then you can get your friends or significant other to buy you things or take you out for drinks or give you a back rub!

And then, because you did nothing to earn your crappy karma, you'll end up with the perfect job, have lots of money, upgrade your apartment, get your blog published because it's so witty and endearing and spot on, and live happily ever after! The end.

Doesn't that sound better??

Yeah, I think so too.

I have such a realistic view of life.

Extra! Extra! Read all about it!

Updates on EVERYTHING.

And yes, I realize that title is CRAP, but it's 5:45 and my brain has stopped functioning. So deal with it. I'll do better next time.

First off, let's talk about that briefly mentioned lawsuit that came out of nowhere for most of you.

I talked to the insurance agency, found out what's been going on, how they tried to settle with the TURD for 'significantly less' than he asked for, how he of course refused, how it's moved to the insurance's lawyer now (she's the one who's been sending me papers in the mail, apparently I'm an idiot for not just knowing that immediately and knowing how getting sued works right away, you know, with all my previous experience with this!), and how there's going to be a deposition so I have to answer questions but hopefully won't actually go to court after that.

Whew. So that's fun. I'm relieved that a) I know what the hell happened to lead to me getting crap in the mail, b) all the insurance people agree on the dude's douchebag status, and c) they're still handling it, though I now I have participate some. But unless he asks for a couple million or something, I shouldn't have to get my own lawyer. Awesome. So glad I'm learning these fun life lessons at 25 years old. All my talk of suing like seven different people in the past (and by seven, I mean mainly my first orthodontist who I still blame for the second round of braces I had to get in college) is less funny now that I'm on the receiving end. Boo, douchebag. Way to ruin my 'Let's just sue them!' comment for forever now.

So I guess I'll start keeping you posted on this fun stuff now too...until I'm told to stop talking about it by a lawyer or judge (as I'm pretty sure what I'm doing right now is illegal). I'm just waiting on a callback and actual conversation with this lawyer now, before I fill out any paperwork. I'm not taking any more risks EVER AGAIN.

Oh, speaking of taking risks, we're now done with phase one of the attempt at getting a 6-month travel writing job. It's all up to the judges and our number of votes. Which, by the way, is AMAZING! I've been all over Facebook with this stuff, but we managed to come up at #24 out of around 800 applicants...and they pick out 50 to move on to the next round! So, unless the judges are planning on getting added to my douchebag shit-list, I'll hopefully be harassing people for votes a lot more soon! Stay posted... and then vote like your life depends on it if we're in the 50 who move on.

And finally, the realistic job hunt. Well, I just got back into the routine of working out, eating lunch, and hitting up a coffee shop (Caribou Coffee, I'm talking about you! Pay me to promote you!??!) today. But better than that, and this is where you get excited people!, I have an interview tomorrow!

Yay!! Less bitching, and more storytelling! I'm sure you're as excited as I am.

Anyways, one of the millions of staffing agencies I signed up with somehow got wind that I was once again out on my ass and called me out of the blue about an opportunity the other day. Seriously, how do they DO that?? It's a little bit creepy. But hey, I'll take it. And this is one that hasn't sent me on any crap interviews... yet. So, we'll see how it works out. It's a group interview. Which means that even if I do well and the company seems cool, I'll be able to trash some of the other people interviewing for the job!

And by trash, I mean critique and offer constructive criticism on a blog they will never read. Because I am never judgmental or overly dramatic about interviews and the people involved! Who, me?? Never!

So stay tuned friends, shits going to go down tomorrow (the interview and the judgment day for the travel gig)... though, since it's the weekend and this blog is still not paying me (yes, I expect money to shoot out of my disc drive anytime I post a new story and I still don't understand why that isn't happening yet!), you'll probably hear from me next month.

Though I'll post earlier if you have something to offer. And I witnessed chatroulette for the first time yesterday, and I don't want ANY of what people offer on that, thank you very much. Let's keep in clean, kids. That shit was NASTY!

And on that note, have a great weekend!

Shameless Self-Promo!!

VOTE FOR ME AND TIM!

http://www.runawaybrideandgroom.com/ultimatejob/user/profile/652

So, on my quest to get a job, I came across this gem of a potential position.

It's a contest that I'm trying to win. Basically, they're looking for a romantically-linked couple who can travel around the world for 6 months and test out and report on destination wedding and honeymoon locations.

I'd be testing lavish hotels, fantastic beaches, gorgeous locations. Sounds horrible, right?

Not to mention, I'd still get paid on top of that.

So, to keep it brief, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE VOTE FOR ME AND TIM!!!!!!!!

I will love you forever.

http://www.runawaybrideandgroom.com/ultimatejob/user/profile/652

Also, I'm really proud of my video and I want to brag about it. This is me bragging. Thanks.

"Cause I can't make you love me if you don't. You can't make your heart feel something it won't"

So, a lot has happened. It's been a crazy weekend, honestly.

I'm currently sitting in my parent's house.

It's a Monday afternoon and I'm sitting at my parent's house.

I think you can see where this is going.

Friday was a bit of a rough day. Know how I was saying I had at least two full weeks at the temp office? Well, that turned into one. And I found that out on the Friday I had already planned on leaving early to head home for Easter weekend, so I didn't even end it all with a full 40-hour week. Yeah, it kind of sucked. What was more surprising was how differently the attitudes were toward me that day.

This one's a little harder to write openly about, simply because I do like the office and the people working there, and I'm still hoping to get placed through them. The people were so welcoming and friendly from the get-go, which is why Friday was so jarring for me. Maybe it was just a bad day all around?

Anyways, I get in at 8:30am, ready to go, excited about the weather, happy to be done early so I can get home and spend some time with my family and friends. I start out as I always did, reading through resumes and picking out which people should be called. As I'm working on this, one of the boss ladies comes out and starts talking to the managers who are sitting behind me. This is what I overhear, which I think I'm meant to overhear?

Boss: 'Who's been screening the resumes?"
Manager: 'Nikki'
Boss: 'Well, you guys need to start doing that yourselves. We need to do a better job of screening candidates. The people we've been getting in here are crap.'

If this were a movie, the camera would pan back to me, staring, slightly amazed, at my computer screen, currently opened to a resume I'm reviewing.

How WEIRD is that? To overhear someone directly talking about you and the work you've been doing, knowing you're right there and can hear it all, and then to not acknowledge you at all!? The worst part was that I was TEMPING, meaning I was there to take direction from other people and do exactly what was asked of me. Remember, I had been strung along so much, I had no idea what they wanted from me and what they expected me to be doing, meaning do I take my own initiative and start things up on my own? Which I did do, with all my social media and social networking additions. Or do I sit on my tukhus and wait for them to tell me what to do and how to do it? Which I also did, and when I wasn't being given tasks, I'd do what I could with social networking.

So, I was a little (ok, a lot more than a little) bothered by this overheard encounter, since I was following the exact instructions on what to look for on resumes and what to get out of someone on the phone. So, this was kind of insulting.

Then, because I didn't know if I was supposed to be looking at resumes any longer, I went back to just filing papers for them, feeling a little irked and just ready for the day to be over. It was 9am.

About a half hour or so later, as I continued filing papers while sipping a mug of tea, watching the managers and bosses go into and come out of a meeting, like they did about 3 times a day usually, I was still trying to figure out what that early comment meant for me. Meaning, I totally knew they were not bringing me on as a recruiter anymore for some reason. But I hadn't give up on maybe getting a part-time permanent gig with them.

And then the other manager, the one who I spoke with during my interview, came over to my desk and asked if I wanted to go get a cup of coffee with her.

I was drinking a huge mug of tea at that very moment.

This was like that moment when you're sitting in class and your name comes over the announcements, and you have this HUGE feeling of dread, even though you know you didn't do anything wrong, and you just want to slide under your desk but instead you know you have to stand up and walk out.

So that's what I did, though the last thing I wanted was coffee. Maybe an Irish coffee at that moment, but not just jittery caffeine. No thanks.

So we walk to the place next door, doing that AWFUL small talk the whole time. Oh my God, seriously, I just wanted to say "What's going ON!?" but I had to bite my tongue the whole time and act like the day was going great so far and like I had no clue where things were heading. UGH.

Here's the problem. I'm never completely hopeless, no matter how pessimistic I am. So, though I had a very good idea that I would not be staying with this office any further than they told me, and I'm about to be out of a job once again, and how over the last week I'm there with them I would need to crack down on the job hunt again so I'm not royally screwed after it's all over and done with, I did NOT expect the next sentence.

"You've probably had an idea this was coming over the last few days, but today's going to be your last day in the office."

BAM. Out on the streets once again. Without warning once again. Ok, well with some warning this time, but without severance pay OR unemployment now. So, really out on the street this time. Well, not really because I don't plan on prostituting myself at all (yet), but you get my point.

Now, before you get the wrong ideas, she was really great about it all and I could tell she genuinely felt bad about the way everything turned out, as she had interviewed me for the original position way back when and had also thought I would transition into that roll from temping. And she asked me if I had any insight after my time with them, and I was a very good girl and didn't let these last moments cloud my overall pleasant experience with them, but I did let her know I would not have temped for them had I not been under the impression that it would help me get the job.

So, the joyful thing after all this was that I got to go back up in the office and work for the rest of my (shortened) day. Which, obviously, I was going to be a little more withdrawn and quieter during, especially since I was pretty much just filing from that point on. I don't know if it was me and the way I was keeping to myself, or if it was just the mood of the office, or if I truly did something to piss people off, but everyone seemed to be keeping away from me when possible too. Which just made everything super awkward. So that was fun.

And then, to top off my already crappy day (it's still only 11am or so at this point), I once again overhear a very obvious conversation about me, behind me. GET AN OFFICE PEOPLE. Or stop being so rude...and not because you're critiquing my work, but because you're literally doing it BEHIND MY BACK. Anyways, the receptionist comes up to the other manager, from the original conversation with the boss, and passes over the report on that week's interviews. She then mentions how there were three no-shows that week (out of 25+ scheduled interviews...for a temp agency...that could potentially get you a job). And the response to that? "Yeah, well, we're going to be doing a much better job of screening people from now on."

WOW. Two in one day. It's good to be me.

I didn't even know what to do at that point. I mean, I've already been told that I'm done, so why the crap-talk still? Why not wait until a few hours later when I'm gone for good? It's just not how I would treat other people, nor expect to be treated, and it was totally out of character, or so I thought. So now I'm totally paranoid that I did something horribly wrong and they talked about me in that brief staff meeting and they all hate me and I NEED TO GET OUT OF THERE.

Of course it's my day without a lunch break.

And, I am telling you, it does not stop there.

I really only had good things to say up until all this stuff happened!

So, as I'm going through hundreds of papers, alphabetizing and filing, I decide it's quiet in the office and since they usually turn on some tunes when it's quiet, I'd just open Pandora. So I turn on my Carole King station, since I'm pining for some oldies and a little bit of female power, and start mouthing along to the music. I already feel better.

Until that oh-so-lovely manager who-now-hates-me-or-was-having-a-truly-horrible-day came back from lunch.

Ok, so lunch ended right as Bonnie Raitt's 'I Can't Make You Love Me' came on the station (shout out to my post title!). And ok, so that's a really really really sad and depressing and somewhat pathetic workplace song. And ok, so it probably looked like I was sulking and emoting about not getting to work in their office longer.

BUT, in my defense, it's a really beautiful song and it was Pandora, so you just get what ever song they think matches your station next.

Anyways, apparently that was NOT OKAY. Because I was asked to turn it off so we could put on something more upbeat, or dance party like.

I'm sorry, I thought this was a workplace, not a late-night club. My mistake.

So I turn it off, and nothing. No one turns on this upbeat music so desired. Now it's silent again, and miserable. Fantastic. Finally, the new addition to their staff asks why there isn't any music playing if a dance party was wanted so badly. And then we get the Beyonce station. If you know me, you know how much I love Beyonce. I love Beyonce like a cat loves getting wet. Things couldn't be going better. Oh, but wait. The first song? Was a slow Rihanna ballad. Let's get this party started!!

So, finally, my day comes to an end. I have a pocketful of candy from their closet and a very kind and warm thank you letter waiting in everyone's inboxes from me. I breeze out of there and head home, glad it's sunny and ready to drive home, blasting the music I want to listen too, with the sunroof open for the first time this year.

Did I mention I'm currently getting sued? Oh, yeah, forgot to fill you in about that. I got in a fender-bender in stop and go traffic outside of Chicago on a rainy night 3 years ago. I bumped into the cab in front of me when I looked in my rearview mirror a second too long. I was shaken up and half in tears, and the cab driver was really nice, saying no one got hurt and there wasn't really any damage. So we made the decision not to call the police, since we were on the left shoulder of the packed highway and it would take forever for them to even get there. I gave him my info, we parted ways and I made it to my friend's house with just a bump in my front license plate and a few chips in my paint.

And then the douchebag sued. SERIOUSLY. And not only that, but it isn't being handled through insurance for some reason, even though they said it would be, and I have been getting papers about a deposition and answering questions, without any clue why or what it's about or which lawyer it's even coming from (is it from his? Or is it from my insurance?). I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT ANY OF THIS!!!

Anyways, getting back to my story, I get home, feeling better about my crappy day, though worried about my job situation now. And I grab the mail before I head out of town. And there it is, waiting for me. Another letter from this law office, this time with questions I'm supposed to answer. No one has called me about ANY OF THIS. I have no idea why I'm getting these. I have no idea what happens when I don't respond (because I didn't to the last one, and they didn't seem to care at all). But dealing with a lawsuit, and a RIDICULOUS one at that, while dealing with unemployment is not what I needed.

Remember how I mentioned that my poor little brain couldn't handle all of this stuff or "I'll be on the phone in tears again with someone who loves me but who still probably hates dealing with sobby, whiny, insecure me"? Well, the traffic on my stupid street to get to the highway push me to that point a few minutes later. Plus, I opened the stupid law office envelope in the car. DUMB. I knew it would upset me, and I purposefully threw it in the car unopened because of that. And then I just couldn't resist. Stupid stupid stupid.

So, that was my Good Friday. Good Friday...what a joke.

But, be happy friends. There's about to be a lot more to come from me! Including my newest, very realistic and totally probably attempt at getting a job....