Okay, I'm sorry I've been MIA.
Really, not writing in here has been killlllliiinnnggg me. When you've got nothing but yourself and a computer to keep you company all day long, you get lonely. And when you get lonely, you want to talk to your friends. And when your friends all have jobs and can't talk to you at 1:42pm on a Tuesday afternoon, you turn to your blog for comfort.
Except here's the conundrum... I'm on hold about a job. And when I'm on hold about a job, I don't write about it. I don't want to risk a thing and I definitely don't want to jinx anything. And I am ALWAYS concerned about jinxing things... it's probably my number one concern in life. Seriously.
Anyways, because of that, I've kept my little mouth... or, I guess, my fingers... shut. But now it's been over a week and I just can't do it anymore!
So, while I'm still going to keep mum about my interviews with the company until I know whether or not they liked me (and yes, this is the infamous group interview I mentioned earlier. You'll be happy to know I made it to round two! And, of course, there were many awkward moments caused by yours truly that I am waiting patiently to pass on to you.), I can talk about the other aspects of my huntressing.
Rejoice! Rejoice!
Anyways, I'm currently temping. Not with the same agency as before, this time with the one that hooked me up with the interview that I'm still waiting on hearing back about. They had a receptionist gig open up for this week and since they knew I wouldn't hear back til the end of the week, and if I got the gig, it would start for a week or two more, they hooked me up. Sweet deal. I have an income for a week! I can pay my cable bill (oh shoot, I need to do that today).
Before I talk about my temping joys, let me talk about my week of job huntressing prior to having something to do during the days.
Aka, "The Lonely Time in the 80 Degree Weather."
I know, poor poor me, right? I was not working when it was basically summer in Chicago last week, and had to spend my days outside, sipping iced tea and beer while I frequented the online job boards.
MY LIFE IS SO HORRIBLE YOU GUYS.
Ok, so that's a lie. It kind of rocked. I mean, I didn't have anything to do last week til Friday, and that's when it got cool again. Talk about timing.
However, in my defense, let me put you in my shoes for a moment. And not the horrible, bloody heels that ripped up my poor feet (and I mean literally, as I have like 7 scars on each to prove it) as I made the stupid decision not to bring flats with me when I had to walk 8 blocks and I knew they didn't fit correctly. Here's a not-so-helpful tip... Dunkin Donuts napkins do not make them fit much better at all, they just stick out of the sides awkwardly while you trudge through the wind like a hairy troll because it's of course the one day you decided to wear your hair down in over a week and it's the WINDY CITY (and yes, I know that's not why it's called that, but it FITS. So there.)
Anyways, not those shoes. You can try on the flip flops I wore to the bar Thursday afternoon. And yes I said the bar. This is why, though I totally got to enjoy the weather and I have the farmer's tan to prove it, it wasn't all that fun.
I was the girl at the bar on Thursday at 3pm drinking a beer alone, with her computer.
LOSER.
Not to mention, possibly borderline alcoholic, because who drinks alone while job hunting on a weekday afternoon??
Well I do. And I did it because I couldn't find one damn coffee shop within a reasonable walking distance from my apartment that a) had outdoor seating, b) had free wifi, and c) was in the sun. And C wasn't even that important. So, I see that Potbellys has outdoor seating and I stop in to check out the wifi situation. They say it's pretty easy to pick up signals, especially if you're outside, so I buy myself a milkshake, get all situated, and pop open the laptop. And proceed to pick up not a single signal. Well crap. Luckily, I just kept trying stuff out and ended up getting one that was relatively strong. So the milkshake wasn't all for nothing.
Well, as I'm sitting there, still this other place's internet, and the sun ducks behind the building, I look over to the place I'm picking up the signal from. And it's like a mecca, glowing in the sun across the street, lots of outdoor tables, wide open windows, just overall summer afternoon weather gloriousness.
But it's a bar.
And it was 1:30pm.
And I was alone.
At 3pm I'm uncomfortable, the internet is dragging, it's not as pleasant in the shade as it was in the sun, and my milkshake is long gone.
So, I decide (and yes, this thought literally went through my head), well, it's 5:00pm somewhere. And I cross the street.
I debated ordering a lemonade for about 4 seconds, until the waitress said Miller was on special for $2.50. And at $2.50 and when you're sitting at a table where you have a devoted server, you don't just order one.
To make it even better, a woman and her toddler daughter decided to grab an early dinner around 4, and chose the table right next to me. I'm the nerdy computer lush. And because the kid was a toddler, you know she's gotta ask the question 'Why?' every two seconds. And you just know she had to ask her mom about me, and why I was there with my computer and what I was doing. Plus, since it was a bar, I didn't think it'd be polite to put in my headphones like I'd do at a coffee shop, so I couldn't even fake that I wasn't able to hear people talking about me.
When you're at a bar with a computer, people definitely talk about you.
Needless to say, you go home feeling a little lonely (and a little buzzed) at the end of it all, wishing you had some unemployed friends. Or at least strippers, who worked the night shift and could spend their days with you. Or something along those lines.
And I couldn't even turn to my bloggy pie (okay, NEVER saying that ever again, I promise. I thought it'd be kind of funny, but it's just really pathetic and kind of horribly disgusting. Therefore, I left it for you all to witness.) because I had nothing interesting to say outside of the things I would end up jinxing by saying them (And yes, I am already convinced I've jinxed everything from these casual references. I told you it was a problem.).
So, anyways, it's nice to be temping this week because of that haunting loneliness drinking alone will bring about. And it's also chillier.
The temp job. It's not too shabby, just incredibly slow. I answer phones and transfer calls. And I have NO IDEA what I am talking about. This office deals with the medical field. Enough said.
So, I fake it, because I'm an awesome actress like that. And I am so cheerful and bubbly and smiley it's nauseating, but it covers up my absolute lack of knowledge. Or at least allows me to present myself as a total ditz, so my lack of knowledge makes sense.
I started last Friday, after getting a call at 9am about taking it on. My first on-call experience as a temp employee! What fun! I get to the office, I'm told what I'm supposed to do with answering the phones in less than 5 minutes, and I'm on my own. Not intimidating at all.
Actually, it wasn't too bad. Outside of the fact that I couldn't access the computer yet, and there for sat there, waiting for the phone to ring, for over 5 hours. Guess how many times it rang!
About once every minute or so??
No way Jose!
At least 50 times through out the afternoon?
Ha.
Cut that in half?
I wish.
10-15 times in a five hour space?
YOU BET YOUR BOTTOM DOLLAR!
You have to understand, the last time I worked in an office where I took incoming calls, I was answering the phone every 30 seconds or so. Just a little bit of a difference there.
It was kind of excruciating. Especially after I finished my book and had two hours left to go. Yes, I was 'able' to read a book (and by 'able', I mean, I was alone the whole time with very few people walking by, so I just did it in order to combat losing my mind. I think they'd rather me keep my senses than take an extra second to grab the phone), so I really can't complain about my job here. But those last few hours just DRAGGED. It was like being in middle school again, waiting for the final bell to ring. It took, as so emphatically stated in the Sandlot, FOR.EV.ER.
Luckily, as you may have figured out, since I am writing a blog on a computer right now, I have access to the computer, and today has gone remarkably faster. Whew.
Too bad I have to take breaks though and take 30 minutes of an unpaid lunch. Seriously, I know no one, this place always seems empty, and I don't have a desk to sit at on my breaks. So you know what I do? I stand awkwardly in the "kitchen"/copy room. Aka, the room with the copy equipment, a fridge, coffee pot, and microwave. No sink, no table, no chairs. Just me, pretending to do something on my phone so I look busy, trying to use up my 15 minute break, wishing I could combine them into one paid 30-minute lunch break so I can work an 8 hour day. I'm going to look into that, actually. The extra twenty-some dollars could go a long way in my life right now.
So, anyways, that's what I have been up to. I can't wait to share the awkward moments I had/witnessed in my group interview, how I talked about thong leotards, my stuttering through conversations, my repeated use of the oh-so-professional word 'awesome' and more details about the high heels! So let's hope I get the job, so I can tell you all about it in a hilarious, upbeat light instead of depressing, cynical gloom.
Oh, let's face it, it'll be cynical either way.
Also, just to keep you salivating, if I do get the job (Oh Jesus, the jinxing fear is getting out of CONTROL right now!!), I have an audition with an awesomely awkward theatre company I've worked with in the past, so you know I'll have stories to share about auditions starting right away!
Plus, I may submit a video for Glee. Hence the South Park quote for a title.
Hahahahahahahaha.
I'll leave you ROTFL, LOLing, and LMAO at that one.
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