"The wheels on the bus go round and round!"

Holy crap guys! BIG NEWS.

Nope, not that kind of big news.

And not that kind either (...Mom).

Blogger changed their interface and added tons of new features and now I can learn things about my blog! Like how many pageviews there are! This is ginormous, because that was kind of the whole reason I was going to switch to WordPress. I haven't done a ton of looking around, because I logged in to write something (SHOCKING, I know) and then got overwhelmed with joy and excitement by what I saw, so I don't know if I can do the whole fancy schmancy 'email new post to my subscribers' thingamabob. But I will find out and let you know if I can. Because that will be huge for my fanbase. Fanbase. Ha. But seriously, that will allow more of you than just Drew and Tim to read stuff. And comment. And hopefully not comment as if you were anonymous fans, which is the biggest pityfest I have ever received. Thanks DREW AND TIM. Asshats.

Anyways, this is all very exciting and hopefully it will a) encourage me to write more, b) encourage more people to read this, and c) allow me to actually update this baby so it doesn't look like 1993 when you're reading it. Hurray! And also, thank you for being the one company to make a good change that doesn't piss off loads of people (I'm looking at you, Netflix and Facebook!).

The real reason I came on here to write though, is also totally unrelated to job huntressing. It's all about ridiculous bus driver encounters. However, I CAN link it back to jobs though. But first of all, an update.

Working for Big Brother still sucks. Internet is shut down to the bare-essentials (which obviously includes this site, gmail, people.com, and one beautiful geeky girl blog called The Mary Sue that apparently is so unknown to those crazy Internet Nazis it doesn't come up on their need-to-block radar). However, because I refuse to have my rights as a human being stomped all over... and yes, the ability to stream hours of videos on my work computer on their time IS a human right!... I now simply use my awesome smart phone to watch Netflix all day. I have quite the fancy little station set up to do so, too. I'm rewatching Mad Men. Don Draper gets me through the day. Hero.

Other than that, things on the job huntressing front are moving very slowly, which I'm pretty ok with. I'm kind of trying to do the whole "networking" thing this time around, and because I rrrrreeeeaaaaalllllllllllllyyyyyyyyyyyyy want to make this work, I refuse to say anything more about it. It's like dream job potential, so I can't jinx it. And I can't eff it up. And I can't ruin everything. So this is me, keeping my mouth shut.

I mean, just about that. Not in general!

So, there's my crappy-bo-bappy update. Crappy because there's nothing to share. Sorrrrrrry. But this is why I'm sharing awkward encounter stories instead! And they relate to working because the first encounter happens when I go home from Big Brother. And the second, one-time-only (oh good GOD I hope so!) encounter was when I was making a mad dash from Job One to Job Two. Yay! It all ties together!

So, encounter number one. Which, in retrospect and compared to encounter number two, seems pretty lame now. Wah wah wah.

There's a grocery store in the middle of my (new) bus route to my (new) home, which is fairly convenient when you need to make chili after work one night. So I get off the bus, go into the store, and then come back out to grab the next bus that comes by. I step on with my big bag of groceries, and the somewhat-younger-for-a-CTA-employee male driver covers the bus pass scanner and waves me by. Um, awesome! Only because my bus pass is dying and takes like 15 tries to swipe sometimes. Because transfers are free and I had just gotten off the other bus, so it would have scanned, but done nothing. So, silly dumb little me is thinking how he must have known I had just transferred and that it didn't matter if I scanned my card anyways. You know, because that's logical. He knew I was riding a bus 20 minutes earlier. Even more logical? I also kind of thought that maybe he knew my pass was crappy and wanted to save me from trying 37 times. Because, obviously, it's more normal for him to know the most minute details of my life than to just be kind to me.

Fast foward to the following week, when I make a second pit stop at the grocery store, and happen to get on the bus there at the same time, and therefore get the same driver. Who, once again, waves me past. Now, I'm less certain he knows my route and bus usage, and more thinking that he's trying to flirt. I think him winking at me and smiling clued me in on that. Awkward. I still decide to exit at the front of the bus to thank him though, because I like thanking bus drivers every time I'm on the bus anyways (THANKS FOR NOT KILLING ME THIS TIME!) and also for the "free" ride.

And here we are, two days ago. When my work schedule has changed and I actually leave work 30 minutes later now. And I'm waiting at my normal bus stop to head straight home, when low and behold, I step on and swipe my card (I have a magic trick another bus driver lady showed me to make my card work more smoothly! Bus drivers LOVE me), and there he is. But he wasn't fast enough to stop me from swiping the card, so this time he actually tells me that I can just go straight back any time. Ah. Well, now it's clear. Because he definitely didn't say that to the two gentlemen and the one older lady who were also getting on the bus. Awesome. Because here's the kicker. I pay a flat monthly fee for my bus pass, so it's unlimited rides. Meaning, if he's waving me past every time I happen to grab his bus after work, I'm LOSING money (sort of... in my mind, more than anything). I mean, he's just letting me not have to swipe my card really, since I'm paying to use the bus whenever I want and however many times I want already anyways. So now I'm not only dealing with a super awkward encounter way too often, but I'm not even benefiting from it! Ugh. Fail.

So that's encounter number one. Which seems awkward, right? And it really is, mainly because this is my usual bus route, so this could start happening DAILY. However, encounter number two totally takes the cake for awkward bus driver experience, at least for now.

Yesterday, instead of taking the normal bus home, I had to rush over to grab a different one that would take me from Job 1 to Job 2. And since I was in a time crunch, and this bus isn't as frequent as most rush hour buses, I had to book it to get there in time so that I didn't have to wait 15-20 minutes for the next one. And of course, as I'm half a block away, I see it. There's traffic and a stop light between the bus and the stop though, so I decide I can TOTALLY make it there before the bus. Which, obviously, means running. Through downtown Union Station pedestrian traffic. And of course, to top it all of, I'm also running in hot pink flip flops, bright purple shorts with leggings underneath them, and a hot pink sweater. Because I am literally wearing half of one work outfit and half of the other. So I get to the bus stop just before the bus gets there. And when it pulls up and I get on, I'm the only one on there. And the driver says "Oh, you were running to get on the bus!? I would have let you on way back there." To which I reply "Oh did you notice me because of my ridiculous outfit?" (Yes, I really said that.) To which he replied, "No, actually I was checking you out."

W. T. F.

Two days in a row, basically. What is going on with Chicago bus drivers?? Anyways, that was awkward enough, so I head toward the back, to sit near the back door. Apparently, since it was an empty bus, that didn't stop our conversation. And then, to make things even better, NO ONE ELSE GOT ON. The entire ride. Though I'm almost convinced he was blowing off stops to continue talking. And now, on to our lovely conversation!

He makes a couple of super awkward comments about how he was checking me out, and I'm just trying to talk about work to change the topic. And he of course he ignores that and moves into the "do you have a boyfriend?" topic, to which I say yes. And... now this is a first for me, because I guess I assume that saying "Yes, I have a boyfriend" kind of puts an end to any possibility a person thinks he might have... he then asks me if we're monogamous. Hahahahahahaahaha. Awesome question. And smart, really. Because you never know. What if you never asked that after the first question, and that was all you needed to ask to make it happen!? This needs to become a part of normal bar conversations people, take note. So I say "Yes, we are" and mention how it's been 3 years. Which apparently baffles him, because he seems shocked that it has been that long and we're not married. Which makes me cringe, because I can see what's coming now, and I hate having this conversation with people who know me, but it's even worse with strangers.

Because, for those who know me, you know that I'm all about gay marriage being legal (and if I just lost readers with that sentence, I really have no idea why you were still reading this anyways. You guys, I'm really, seriously liberal). And I also don't have any desire (at this time) to get married if it's a segregated institution that I'd be joining. No offense to all you married folks out there, because I really have nothing against marriage or weddings, and to each their own! And I completely realize I'm pretty much on my own little island with this 'segregated institution' thought process anyways. But seriously, and the bf knows all about this and we have very real conversations about it, I just don't see why I should be able to get different tax benefits and rights (aka, at hospitals or after death or with children) than the people I love and spend a crap ton of time with are able to get. In my opinion, marriage should be totally done by the church/synagogue/mosque/religious institution, and a civil union should be the ONLY thing the state provides. So if you are a straight couple and you want to have your relationship recognized by the state and you want it to be a religious marriage, because that is what marriage is to you, you get your civil union with the government, and then you head to your church to get married. And if you're a gay couple and you want to do the same, you do it. We all know there are plenty of churches already who are down with that. That way, it's a church-by-church (or whatever institution you're part of) decision, on what "marriage" means and who gets to be part of it. And it stops being a political decision. And if you're a straight couple who wants the state recognition, but aren't into the whole religious marriage thing, you just get the civil union and call it a day. And same for gay couples who don't want the marriage part. Done. AND THEN WE MOVE ON TO WORLD PEACE. Obviously, I should be President.

Anyways, I'll get off my soapbox. It's definitely part of this story, but also, I have a public venue here (though, how public it is maybe takes away the meaning of that word). And I think I have a vaild, no, BRILLIANT, point. And why not get it out there! I know I'm not the only one that thinks church and state need to be separate, but I think my idea is a pretty darn good one, thank you very much. If you're a political speaker, I give you full authority to take it as your own and make it happen.

Now, getting back to the bus. So, the driver asks why we're not married. Cringe cringe. Time to start thinking of ways to explain it without bringing up gay rights, politics, etc to a total stranger. Of course, the dude assumes it's the bf's fault for not making a move. To which I have to explain it's my fault for putting my foot down. Which again, is apparently a baffling concept. Because why would a MAN want to get married and a WOMAN not immediately jump on that and start planning a ridiculous, over-the-top wedding that's she has been thinking about every second of the day every day since the moment she popped out of the womb!!?? This idea then leads to him telling me that I'm probably going to lose the guy if I keep making things move so slowly. Because, again, it's totally fine if a woman waits around for 10 years for a man to propose when he's finally ready for marriage, but if she's not ready for it yet and it's been 3 years, watch out. You're totally going to lose him.

Obviously, I'm not really into this bus ride, the driver, or the conversation anymore. But he keeps asking questions and it's just me, so I can't really ignore him without being completely rude. And you guys, do you not realize that he holds my life in his hands why he's driving the bus I'm riding on!?? So you don't want to piss off the driver! So I keep giving him a run around, saying how I'm in no rush and I have tons of weddings to go to each summer, so why add another (if you've ever gotten those reasons from me, I obviously didn't know if my real reason was acceptable to bring up, and if you're still reading this, CONGRATS! We're officially better friends now!). Which doesn't seem to be working on him.

However, he pauses from attacking my relationship to tell me alllll about the way he wants to propose to his eventual lady. Hint: it involves a helicopter. Like you didn't see that one coming. Yes, he would want to rent a helicopter, which is obviously very expensive, and fly up to a rooftop landing spot that overlooks the whole city or some grand view, and propose to her there.

Oh, and it also involves parachutes.

Why, you ask? Well, because if she says no (which, of course, she won't. Because as he told me, "Who would say no to a proposal like that!?"), he'll push her out. Yep. And I think he was a little serious about that, because he continued on to explain it in more detail. He'd push her out, but obviously she'd have a parachute one. And he'd also make sure it seemed completely accidental. Because that way, when she lands safely on the ground, and he's there to make sure she's safe and sound, she'll hopefully have had a life changing experience from that fall, and obviously she'll have to say yes now!

Ladies? Who's interested?? I'll give you the time and bus number, and you can go have an adventure of your own with him!

After his brief pause to tell me all about his dream proposal, we're back to the 20 questions. And my answers are not cutting it for him. So, finally, after he asks me if I'm religious and I say no, and now knowing we're nearing my stop, I just casually say that I just don't need to get married if not everyone's allowed to get married.

Pause.

"Do you mean gay people?"

"Yes."

Pause.

"Well. They have a lot of rights already. A lot of rights."

Aaaaannnnddd here we are. This is why I never say the real reason to strangers. Oof. Thankfully, that's really all he said about that, and then he was asking about civil unions, because he thought gay marriage was legal in Illinois and I had to explain the differences to him. And then he just talked about how he's a romantic guy and he likes surprising people and seeing their reactions, and then I was out of there!!!

Overall, it was fairly harmless and just sufficiently awkward enough to think it's a fantastic story, but be thankful that's probably the last time I'll be taking that bus route. Also, I like to think I made an influence on the way he thinks about gay marriage now too. Ha. Ha. Let's all pretend every time I open my mouth, people open their minds and change their points of view, ok!? I'm that important and amazing. Thank you.

And now you know a little more about me and my viewpoints. You didn't really want to? Well, too bad. We're best friends now. Deal with it.

Seven hours later, I'll leave you all with that whale of a tale. If you didn't already know I like to tell my stories in COMPLETE DETAIL, you've learned that lesson now. Congratulations for sticking with it! Your prize will be a new blog post. Someday. When I have something new to write about. Until then, my friends!