A proud or shame-filled few of you may know these lyrics from the original Idol, Kelly Clarkson, but they're actually from the original song by the lovely Keri Noble. FYI.
Anyways, I'll tie this all in in a moment.
Here's what I briefly have to say to update you on my situation.
I don't know where I stand here, if I have a job after this temping thing is up, or if it's all coming to an end at the conclusion of the week. It's driving me nuts, because I'm really enjoying my time here so far, the people are great, and I feel like I actually have room to grow if I get to stick around for a while. So, the suspense is killing me. I'm having mild breakdowns at inconvenient times worrying about possibly having to find work again after a tease of a great job. I'm constantly over-analyzing anything and everything I hear, I see, I'm told, I do, I'm asked, etc. while working. I'm obsessing about what I need to wear to make an impression. I'm hating my allergies for making me look like I'm sick and gross and snotty.
And I'm absolutely terrified of asking if I'm staying around or not. Because I feel like it's not going to be the answer I want, and therefore, I don't want to know because it will break my poor little heart.
Not to mention, I've completely given up my unemployment supplements for this gig, and I'm almost positive I can't get them back if I'm on my own again, so I'll be out on the streets and panicked about money MORE than I was before. Which leads to the immediate assumption that I'll be moving home, living off the folks, and growing fat and sloppy playing video games and being friendless in the wilderness of the backroads of Oshkosh. Very valid fears.
Anyways, tomorrow I'm going to grow the balls I need to just ask if I'm staying past Friday or not (That's what the song lyrics were for... me. To encourage me to speak. Cheesy, yes. But totally motivational. Listen to the Keri Noble version. NOW.). And then, since I'm going to Madison for the weekend, I'm either celebrating, mourning, or drinking away the frustration of being strung along for a longer period of time (but also the joy of still having an income for the time being so I can spend that money on booze!).
And still the hunt goes on, just in the waiting-in-the-tree-for-the-deer-to-walk-by kind of way (What!? I'm from the Midwest, I'm allowed to use horrible deer hunting metaphors!).
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