The baby lady did not call me back!
Story of my life. Well, minus the 'baby lady' part.
Here's another fun little diddy though...
So, yesterday, first interview with a company for a little while now. Whoohoo!
The one word I'd use to sum up the experience?
DOUCHE.
Douche, douche, douche.
And I'm not talking about keeping clean. I'm talking about the attitude of a person.
Let me start at the beginning. I had received a call from an international staffing agency, that we will leave unnamed, about my resume I had posted on one of the tons of job search engines. Apparently they were looking for a recruiter and were interested in me. The guy who called told me to check out their site and call him back if I was interested. I looked it over briefly, reading about what they do, who they find jobs for, where they're located, and all that jazz. I called him back and let him know I was interested, expecting to talk in more detail. Nope. He said great, here's when you should come in for an interview, see you then. So I was going into this thing a little more blind than I expected.
So yesterday, I checked out the site again before my interview and discovered a somewhat hidden link to the internal position I was interviewing for, and started to read about the details.
Oh f*ck.
It was all sales. Like big time sales. Not the kind of recruiting I was interested in. Boo. I kind of had expected it, but seeing it in writing confirmed my fears. So, I debated pulling out (that's what he said?) of the interview, but I thought I might as well go in and learn more and see if there's maybe something I missed that makes it sound better, or if they had another position or something better suited for me.
I get all dressed up, and in killer pink heels might I add (thanks Angie!), and head downtown. Turns out, the office was 10 floors below my boyfriend's office. Ironic, but kind of awesome. Unless I got the job and then for some unforeseen reason we broke up and hated each other and then saw each other in the lobby and it was awkward and awful and one or both of us cried and then I had to quit to get away and then all my friends picked him over me and I became unemployed and alone and sunk to the level of loving cats and got 7 and shared cat food with them and talked to them as if they were children and walked them on leashes around the neighborhood in a velor sweatsuit and crocs with socks. Or something along those lines. I haven't really thought about it too much or anything.
Annnnyyywhooo, I go in for the interview and discover the guy I had spoken with on the phone was out for the day for some reason, so I'm meeting with some other guy.
Now, those of you in sales, you probably think this is silly of me to describe this situation as douchey because I should have expected it, but I didn't because I'm so sweet and kind and wonderful. Hahaha. But really, I didn't know what to expect, it just definitely wasn't this.
The new guy starts talking immediately about what the company is about and what they're looking for, without asking me a thing. Now, I'm assuming he grabbed my resume right before he walked in the room, since someone else had been handling my info earlier, so you'd think he'd want to know more about me a little first? NOPE. He tells me the job is hard, but the company is great, and then he talks about money. I, being Jewish and all, am not comfortable talking about money. Actually, I shouldn't throw my people under the bus like that, as I feel most people are a little awkward about talking money, especially two minutes into an interview. So he's talking about the half million you can make in the industry and yadda yadda yadda. And then he moves on to my resume and asking me questions.
He asked me two questions total.
Question number one: (He glances at my resume, which could have been upside down and I doubt he would have noticed) Tell me about your previous experiences.
So I talk about my last jobs and how they'd relate to this position, including my 3 month stint with Careerbuilder, and why I left the company after that short of a time period.
And then he decided to tell me that my resume is basically crap, since my jobs are all somewhat short term and that makes him doubt my loyalty. Well, not him, but probably his boss (he liked backhand insulting me and then blaming it on what his boss would potentially say).
And here is what I wanted to say but of course didn't: Dude. If you would look over my resume in a little more detail, and maybe ask me a few more questions, you would realize that I've been in the actual working world for a little over two years and I have had a total of three jobs. One in Madison, which was temp because I was moving to Chicago in the autumn, and then two in Chicago. One wasn't right for me, and then less than a month after I left that one, I started with the place I was at for over a year before they laid me off, which guess what? Wasn't something I was exactly happy about, since I liked it there and was (gasp!) really loyal to them, and still am even in my unemployed state. Everything else was in college, and by everything else, I mean the two jobs I had in my four and a half years there, the second one being basically a promotion my first one within the university. So I'm sorry I haven't held down one job for seven years, but I've been a little busy getting educated and finding my place in a new city. Sorry if that's a concern for you.
But no, I kept my mouth shut and smiled and nodded and pretended like what he said was totally justified based on our five minute long conversation thus far.
Question number two: Where are you looking to go in your career path?
I explain that I'm interested in HR recruiting, and that I've been looking specifically at positions in that field, as well as more basic admin work.
And then he says this. Let me give you a word of advice.
Now, let's remember how this all started. They recruited me. They saw my resume, called me, and brought me in for an interview without asking these very very basic questions over the phone.
His word of advice? Don't say HR OR recruiting when meeting with recruiters. Because they are basically the opposite of each other. Total enemies. Recruiting is sales, and HR is more compensation packages and admin work and things like that. Saying HR OR recruiting to them is a big red flag.
What I wanted to say but of course didn't? I'm sorry, but did I ever use the word OR in my sentence? Because if you listened, instead of talking about yourself and your job the whole time, you would have realized that I said HR Recruiting, meaning I want to recruit in an HR position more so than be in sales. Aka, I DON'T WANT THIS JOB. THIS IS A WASTE OF MY TIME. YOU ARE A TURD. Goodbye.
Instead, I smiled and nodded and pretended he was super nice and helpful and interesting. He then told me that he'd bring my resume and the information we discussed to his boss and they'd be in touch.
And then he compared their job hunt to an execution, "lined up against a wall and shot at" style. That's how they're selecting candidates? Lining everyone up, picking out who to kill, and who to keep? Awesome. BYE.
And that was that. I debated emailing them and withdrawing, but then I realized they'd be the people who'd laugh at that, pointing out how I actually thought I had a chance and I'm hurting them by withdrawing. So screw that. I'm giving them the silent treatment. Real mature, huh?
Wanna know what the douchebag did two hours later? Asked me to join his network on LinkedIn. Probably because he wanted to show me all his connections and 'guide' me on my path in life. Thanks, but no thanks.
And that was that experience. One more for the books.
A word to the wise, try not to insult the people you're recruiting for a position, whether or not you think they're a good fit. It just doesn't reflect well upon your company, even if it is a cutthroat environment. Or reference executions. Also, kind of an odd way of promoting what you do there. Just sayin'...
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